vendredi 24 décembre 2010

Joyeux Noël, Merry Christmas



Wishing you a wonderful Christmas time with your family and friend. As we remember Jesus birth I want be thankful for the miracle of my son in our live. May 2011 bring our little boy in our life forever.

Joyeux Noël à tous. Je vous souhaite de passer un temps des fêtes merveilleux en compagnie de votre famille et de vos amis. En ce temps de l'année où nous soulignons la naissance de Jésus je désire exprimer ma reconnaissance pour le miracle de la vie accordé par l'arrivée prochaine de notre fils. Que 2011 soit l'année où notre famille sera réunit pour toujours.

mercredi 22 décembre 2010

Holidays !!!!!

I love my job but it with joy that I close this afternoon my classroom door for the next two weeks. Let enjoy now Christmas season and family time.

We still do not have our court date but I decided to not be worry about that. We are still in the process to update all our documents and some will be available only after Christmas. To have a successful court we need to have our documents updated minimum 4 weeks before our court date so even if we need to wait a little bit longer before we can hold our little boy in our arms I prefer to make sure all our paperwork is done well to avoid more delay in the future. Let have faith that everything will come in God time.

Happy holidays everyone !

mardi 21 décembre 2010

It the most wonderful time of the year....

We are now in the process to update all our documents and to forget to pain associate with all the paperwork chase this is how I decided to call this period of the year. During a long time I thought we will be able to avoid this situation but since our court date will probably be close with the expired date of most of our documents we decided to start already and do our best to avoid more delay.

On a positive side, we receive Part 1 (Citizenship) yesterday. Yé ! Since we already have our referral this paper was an important piece of the puzzle. We are waiting now to know our court date so we can start planning our court trip.

We are also debating about the idea to change the name of our little boy. Since many years, I have already choose a name I really like for a boy. However, since our son will be over 4 years old we are now hesitating to change his name. Any idea about that ? I would like to hear what do you think about that ?

vendredi 17 décembre 2010

Keeping myself busy...

This is what I need to do now. Already three weeks now since we have accepted our referral. I was hoping we will have some new about our court date by now but nothing... I keep telling myself that everything will be fine and we will go in Ethiopia when is the right time for us. We know for sure that out court date will be after mid-February.... but March is a better prediction. I am ready to go anytime but in another way this is not a bad new for us because it will give us some time to plan ahead with our employers.

I do not want a be a complainer but I need to said that parental leave when you are adopting is not very generous. As far as I know my son has the same right to be with his mom then all other bio kids. However, on government eyes or our employers eyes this is not the same. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful employer but reality is not only I will not have the same amount of benefits but I will also have a shorter time with my son. 3 days instead of 15 weeks of maternity (at 85 % of my salary) this is what I will have when I will take custody of my son. If you don't really know much about adoption world 3 days make sense as I will not be physically affected by the arrival of my son. However, when you become a mom with adoption is also a necessity to spend a lot of time with your child to create a strong bonding and avoid future attachment issues. The interesting thing I just found out recently is maternity leave does not seem to be intend for giving to the mom and her child time to bond together but essentially to give time to recovery from the physical change happen with her pregnancy. Therefore, in my situation, if we think with this perspective I am not allow to have the same time at home with my child because I was not pregnant. No matter what is the specific needs of my child, the idea is all the time the same "You are not pregnant, we do not have any limitation to be back at work". I think it time we reverse the situation and think about the need of the child first instead of the need of the worker. Our society need to understand that when we put priority in the next generation we are building tomorrow society. I am not asking for a longer time at home with my child but only to have the same time then other children will have with their parents.

In our situation, there is no option to put our child in a daycare during his first year at home. I have nothing again daycare but in the specific situation of our son this is not an option in order to avoid attachment issues in the future. Our son have the right to be with his parents and we need to make the decision to fill his needs no matter if adoption benefits is generous or not. I hope in the future, adoptive parents will find more open ears about the specifics question of adoption leave benefits.

mercredi 15 décembre 2010

Congratulations !!!

Congratulations to one of my reader Laura for your court date. Wishing you a wonderful trip and precious memories when you will meet with your son. For me and my friend Ruth, I wish we will know very soon when we will do our court trip.

samedi 4 décembre 2010

When a teacher become a mom for the first time...

Already a week since we have accepted our referral. Opposite to last week, this one was very joyful but also very busy with report card time. This weekend, I am exhausted probably because all the emotions we been through since two weeks. We try to forget all negatives feelings happen during our referral time and focus only on positives stories. Everyday, when I open my eyes, I think at my little one wondering what he is doing, what he is thinking, hoping that he is happy and feeling good. I know that he is not legally my son but in my heart he is already mine.

I did my first shopping for my son. At first it was overwhelming. Too much choice, too much colours, too much toys... Instead of be happy I was scare. I was looking the child clothing and I realize that I did not know what my child need to have in his closet. Pretty soon I was standing in the middle of the store with tears in my eyes not sure about what I should do. Then I decided to only buy a educative game (to help our son to learn english) and I left. On the way back home, I was thinking how curious was this situation... the first thing I bought for my son was something related to his education. I smile to myself as I realize that I will not only be his teacher but also his mom so now I need to learn to think as mom and not only as teacher.

Fortunately, my mom was in town this weekend and she guides me this morning through the children aisles. At first, I was hesitating but pretty soon I knew what I like and what I don't like for my son. I really enjoy this time with my mom as we were not only shopping for our little boy but also talking about him. I also decided to not buy too much before court to avoid future disappointments. Instead, I decided to buy some clothes for children in our son orphanage. For little price we found some wonderful clothes between 3 months and 6 years old. After all, I enjoy putting all these small pieces in my washer and fold them in my suitcase.