L'espoir là-bas

Time to say Good bye !

2011-11-05T00:30:00.005-06:00

I have been thinking about this since a long time. In fact, since the end of September when I decided to take my distance from my blog. When I started, my intention was to share about several topics dear to my heart but finally it end up to be more about our adoption process than anything else. Tomorrow, our son will be with us since four months. What a great progress we have done since last summer. I can honestly say that we are doing good. Like any families, we have our good days and our struggles times but overall we have found the way to become a forever family. Adoption is a very complex process that does not end with the arrival of our son in our life. To be honest, I feel we have started the second book of our family story. A story very intimate that I prefer to not share on a public blog.

Thanks to have take the time to read about our family story. My hope is that no matter what happen to you, you will never give up. Today I am the bless mom of a beautiful little boy and I wish more referral, visa and children coming home for all these families who are waiting since so long. Your time will come.... very soon !

Historica

P.S If we are already in contact via email I will be happy to keep contact with you.
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Tous les changements qui ont accompagnés ma vie dernièrement m'ont fait revoir mes priorités. Demain nous célébrerons avec bonheur le quatrième mois de vie commune avec notre fils. Quelle joie de pouvoir enfin dire que nous allons bien. Comme la majorité des familles nous avons nos bons et nos mauvais jours mais dans l'ensemble nous pouvons dire que nous avons trouvé le chemin qui nous a permis de connecter de finalement pouvoir ressentir que nous sommes une famille. Pourquoi ce départ ? Je ressens le besoin de privilégier les précieux moments que je vit avec notre fils sans nécessairement vouloir les partager sur un blog public.

Merci d'avoir pris le temps de lire notre histoire familiale. Mon espoir est que peut importe ce qui arrive, vous continuiez de garder espoir. Aujourd'hui, je suis bénis d'être la maman de mon merveilleux petit garçon et je souhaite que plus d'enfants puissent venir rejoindre leur famille et ce le plus tôt possible.

Historica

P.S Pour toi ma belle Lady, j'ai pris la décision de quitter la blogosphère mais je ne quitte pas pour autant ta vie ;) On continue de se donner des nouvelles.

5000

2011-09-21T13:55:00.005-06:00

5000 entrees have been done on my blog. Thank you to all my faithful readers for your interest to my life's journey. I do not know all of you personally but I want you know that I appreciate the time you take to read my "non perfect" English.

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Mon blog vient d'atteindre 5000 entrées. Même si je ne connais pas personnellement tous mes fidèles lecteurs je vous suis reconnaissante d'être encore là. Ma nouvelle résolution est d'écrire plus souvent en français. Merci à mes lecteurs francophones (et anglophones) qui m'ont permis de me rappeler que je dois cultiver ma langue française même si le milieu dans lequel je suis n'est pas le plus propice.

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

2011-09-11T16:09:00.001-06:00

This song had lift me up during the time we were waiting for our referral, then for our court decision and for our visa. During last summer I realize that this song was still appropriate to help me to face all different challenge an international adoption can bring. Today, I would like to offer this song to all my friends. No matter what happen in your life, keep faith that the future is brighter then the present.

Cette chanson m'accompagne depuis le moment où nous étions dans l'attente de recevoir notre proposition, puis la décision de la court et ensuite notre visa. Pendant l'été dernier, j'ai réalisé que cette chanson était encore appropriée pour m'aider à garder courage pendant les moments difficiles que notre famille à vécu après l'adoption de notre fils. Aujourd'hui, je désire partager cette chanson avec mes amis. Peut importe les épreuves de la vie, continuez de croire que le futur sera meilleur que le présent.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Late Friday's Confessions

2011-09-10T14:09:00.003-06:00

I never wrote about confession but yesterday I had this in my mind so here we are... 24h later.

I confess that I am a terrible blogger. I have so much ideas and I should write more often.

I confess that I should write more often in French. It my first language and I should be not shy to use it even if I know a lot of my friends will not be able to read me.

I confess that the last week was really hard not only for my son but also for me. However, I am glad now that we have found the way to go through our struggles.

I confess that I start my Ph.D this week and it will be more investment then I though it will be. I know it the right things to do for me and my family. I am bless to have a supportive husband but I will have to drop down a lot of free time and enjoy reading methodology literature (just thinking at this topic make me want to go the sleep....lol)

I confess that my son and I miss our family time with Daddy. We were bless to have two full months together as a family and now we have to face the reality that life is also to be back to work for my husband.

I confess that start pre-school was more hard for me then for my son. Since two months I went through all young child stages (infant, No phase) and now my little boy start to become more independent.

I confess that we are still in the "No phase" and I am sick and tired to hear to word NO for everything. I hope it will not last forever.

I confess that I wish I could be the perfect Mommy but as everybody else I am not and I need to understand that doing my best it the most important.

I confess that I choose to see the positive things my son is able to do instead of only the negatives one. For example, I am really impress with his language abilities. After two months he can understand French and English.

I confess that most of the time I do not answer when the phone ring.

I confess that I have meet many wonderful people in my life and I am so glad to have all of you in my life.

Expect the unexpected

2011-08-26T21:36:00.006-06:00

I confess that I was a very bad blogger this summer and I hope I still have few faithful readers. Last year when I started my blog, I was so excited to be able to share all the steps of our adoption journey. The road to get our son was so long and difficult and my hope was that our experiences may help other families who were in a similar situation of us. Last November, our referral happen and then we went in Ethiopia for our court date and meet our son for the first time. In the last fews months, my entire life was dedicated to prepare myself to become the mother of my son. I found the last fews weeks before we could left for our second trip so hard. At that moment, we made the rational decision to leave when my school year will be done. Now, knowing what happen after our gotcha day, I am really happy with this decision but last June my brain was more emotional then rational so it was really hard to deal with this wait time.

For many years I have read a lot about adoption, grieving, attachment. Books, blogs, discussion board, meeting with other adoptive families, courses. I knew having our son will be not easy but my homework was done so I was assuming that everything will be ok for us.... after all these waiting years we will be a forever happy family. Well, things did not happen the way I was expected at ALL. Maybe because it was my first child or maybe just because our son is what he is. The true is that the first three weeks were AWFUL. Even thinking about these first weeks still bring tears to my eyes. I love my son, I love him very much. I could not see my life without him. However, my love for him does not forget how hard was the first weeks with him. I was undecided about disclosing this reality or not on my blog. When an adoption process is complete people expect to see a happy family. In our case, we were a destroy family. Our personal boundaries were broke and we were three strangers looking to know how we could learn to live together. After waiting all these years, the true is our son was not waiting for us. Yes, he was prepared that we will become his parents but deeply inside him this idea to have to start his new life again in a whole new world was something very hard for him. Before he could attach to us he has to grieve about his lost and we also had to grieve about this son we had imagine but never be able to know until now. I cannot fully explain how hard were this first weeks but I know that they have deeply changed myself, my ideas, my life philosophy. Today, when I look back I am happy to see the positive we all have get from what we went through. However, I wish we had not need to experienced all this pain but now I understand that it was part of the adoption package deal.

Tomorrow we will celebrate our second month as a family. We have spend the last two months isolated from our regular social life. Our summer goal was to spend time all together (my husband, my son and I) and give us the time to know each other. We went through a lot of "first time" as everything was so new for him. We laugh today when we remember how it was hard to put him in his car seat but at that time it was pretty awful. We choose to protect our son's feelings instead of our relatives or friends excitement toward him. Majority of people have respected and understand our family boundaries by not holding our son or feed him but some have choose to not do and this situation add new conflicts we had to deal with. I understand their happiness to finally be able to meet our son but knowing that my son is constantly dealing with adaptation and attachment issues I could not ask him to do more then I knew he could do. That bring me to tell you some uncomfortable situations we have being trough recently : Staring and weird questions.

I think staring is what bother me the most. Every time we go out people are staring at my son. Yes, he is cute, charming and he has two caucasian parents but he is also like everybody else he have feelings and staring at him make him uncomfortable. Weird questions make me also very upset. Why people are not thinking before asking us weird questions in front of our son. Knowing that my son understand now French and English language I need to be really careful in the way we choose to answer. In the weirdest questions prize list we got recently I think the one about the colour of his inside hands (and asking my son to show his inside hands) is the one upset me the most. What ???? My son is not a little zoo's attraction or a little puppet we look in a living room. We also does not answer questions regarding the cost of our adoption process, his ethiopian relatives, his emotional trauma or personal struggles. It is appropriate to ask a stranger if they have hereditary diseases in their family ? No, it the same for us. Fortunately, majority of our family and friends are not like that so we are bless to have be able to share wonderful time with them during this summer.

So the last two months have been really busy for our family, trying to know each other and handle in the same time people weirdest reaction toward our son. I am so proud to have our two first months done. I know the next few months will bring new challenges but at least I know now I can go thought it.

Home sweet home !

2011-08-05T10:41:00.004-06:00

Our son is with us since almost five weeks now. I have heard many time that the first six weeks are the more difficult. Every child react differently but knowing that we will reach the 6th week very soon make me very proud of everything we went trough since we have the custody of our little boy. Since one month, we went through so much changes in our life. We are glad to have our son join our family but the true is you can't make an omelet without breaking few eggs. Along the way, we have broke a lot of eggs but it believe every struggles help us to allow our son to rebuild his emotional feelings and we hope one day he will become a strong and confident men.

I have being debating during the last month if I will post my son picture on my blog. When I started this blog, last year, it was clear that my first intention was to publish my ideas about life and preserve my privacy life. As a teacher, I can't allow my students to enter so easily in my private life but in another way I think it just normal after all this time for you to want see my little boy. Because this blog is public and I can't control who are reading, the other option I have will be to go private. However, by being private I will not be able to share anymore my ideas and it will restrict the number of my readers to have access to my blog which I don't want to. Therefore, I have choose to keep my blog public but will only share my son's picture with close friends or people I have already being in contact through adoption board or email. If you are one of them and you would like to see my little boy please send me an email and I will be happy to let you see him.

historica@live.ca

A New World....

2011-07-25T21:37:00.002-06:00

Well, I have so much to say, I do not know where I should start.... Last month we were in our way to Ethiopia to pick up our son. Now, we are home since three weeks, busy, tired, exhausted but very happy to have our family of three. So much things happen since last month and I can say that my life have entirely change since I am a mother. The first week, in Ethiopia, was really hard. The next two at home were too. However, I have to say that since two days we have start to enjoy our family routine. Before, everything seem so bizarre for me, for my hubby and more then ever for my son. Attachment is not magical and it take a lot of time. Today, I went to the park alone with my son and we enjoy spend time together. It was the first time since three weeks that we have feel a special connection together.

I will be happy to tell more about our new life in the next few days....

Back home

2011-07-10T18:00:00.003-06:00

After two weeks in Ethiopia we are now back home with our son. I still feel it surreal to have him sleeping in his room upstair. We arrived yesterday after 35 hours in between planes and airports. Mommy and Daddy were exhausted, our little boy was all excited and noisy with everything new he was seeing. I will be sharing with you the highlights of our trip in the next few days.

Countdown....

2011-06-20T17:23:00.003-06:00

Still marking.... but now really busy with packing. When we start our adoption process we were talking about number of years before we will have the blessing to be parent. Then it was in months and recently in weeks. Now we are finally counting in... DAYS. I can't believe it ! In less then a week we will be gone again to meet our son forever. I can't wait but until this time I need to finnish my students reports card, move my stuff out of my classroom, enjoy my friend wedding shower and wedding day and then.... we are off.

What is my plan for the summer ? Nothing about work just spend time with my husband and my son.

Guess what....

2011-06-17T23:22:00.004-06:00

Few students gave me their late work today so.... more marking to do... :o I hand out a pile of work and I came back at home with... other pile.....

"This is the job that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friends.
Some people started marking it not knowing what it was,
And now they can't stop marking it forever just because..."

..... I feel better now :)

Thank you !

2011-06-13T23:01:00.003-06:00

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I feel so great to have a such an amazing group support who can understand all the mix feelings we have through this big process. We are not gone yet.... that the hard part right now.... wait... But very soon we will be with our son. I will do my best to tell you what happen during this second trip we will do very soon.

Busy, busy, busy... that is my life right now. Busy with... marking. I can't believe it... it like weed. Even if you do it, you have more grow so fast. I love my job but this year I do not understand why I am so overwhelm with all this marking to do. Maybe I forgot but I do not remember having the same experience last year. However... only few days before final exams (more marking...lol) and then I am flying to get my son.

I am coming sweetheart.... I can't wait to give you a big hug.

VISA !!!

2011-06-04T10:08:00.005-06:00

It now official, we are free to go pick up our son. Thinking back, this adoption's journey was so unpredictable and our visa was in the same way. Before we receive this wonderful new, our plan was to leave right after the school year. We were not sure when we should expect to have our visa but according to other families experience and average time right now we were hoping that we could travel this summer and we had made plan for this time. Since three years, everything we did was delayed so we had to learn to live with that. Everything except our visa. This last step was a real surprise for us as it came before we could anticipate. We are now please to move forward with our plan to go in Ethiopia and meet with our son.

We are planning to have a longer stay this time. Last trip I need to admit that we did not feel that we had enough time to really connect with our son's country. We were there for only six days and we were not able to see much of the country side. This time we are planning to take this time with our son. Depend of how he will react we would like to have these memories to share with him. He might not be able to remember everything but I want be able to say.... when we were in Ethiopia together... when you were little we did this wonderful trip.... Ok, I need to remember that it will probably not be wonderful the whole time as he will be also in a transition time and adjusting to his new life but I am looking for this trip as my husband and I will start the foundation of our family. Our son is our first child and this next trip is very special for my as we will leave as couple and come back as family.

So much feelings are inside me right now. I feel really happy, excited and in the same time lost. During this whole adoption process we were thinking about how our son will need time to adjust to his new life. Now, I realize that not only my son need time but I also need time to adjust and adapt to this new life. I have been waiting for so long to be a mom. I often cry thinking that this time will never come and how I could ever imagine have this empty side of my heart all my life. Now, mix with the joy feeling I also discover other feelings that I also need to deal with. With time I truly believe that we will be all adjusting well and enjoy each other company but right now the reality is that we are strangers for each other. On paper we are a family but in reality we will need to time create this bonding that come usually naturally when we give birth. I am confident that this time will come but in the mean time I need to prepare myself that we are now walking on unknown paths.... be a family. We are not two anymore we are now three forever.

_________________________________________________________

C'est maintenant officiel, nous avons reçu la confirmation que nous pouvons aller chercher notre garçon. Depuis trois ans, notre vie est axée sur la planification de ce merveilleux moment et aujourd'hui j'ai encore beaucoup de difficulté à réaliser que ce moment est réellement arrivé. Je suis très heureuse mais en même temps il y a tellement d'émotions qui se mélange dans mon coeur que j'en suis très confuse. Lorsque je repense à l'ensemble de notre processus d'adoption s'il y a une chose que j'ai rapidement comprise c'est qu'il faut constamment ajouter des délais et être très patient. Tellement de chose non prévisible sont arrivés à des moments que nous nous attendions le moins et la même chose s'est produite avec notre visa. Avant même de savoir que notre visa était arrivé notre plan était de partir dès la fin de l'année scolaire. L'attente pour le visa est très imprévisible. Dans le passé, certaines familles ont attendu plusieurs mois et d'autres quelques semaines. Selon la moyenne d'attente des familles qui nous précédaient nous avions fait la prédiction que nous devrions avoir ce visa tant attendu au cours de l'été. Surprise !!! Notre visa est arrivé AVANT le moment que nous avions anticipé. Après tout ce que nous avons vécu, nous avons été sous le choc de voir que pour une fois le délai d'attente avait été plus court que nous avions prévu comme quoi parfois la vie peut nous aussi nous faire des belles surprises.

Pour ce deuxième voyage, nous avons décidé de rester un peu plus longtemps. Le principal souvenir que je garde de notre premier voyage fut le sentiment d'avoir été constamment à la course puisqu'en plus de faire un court séjour accompagné d'un long voyage, je suis retourné immédiatement travailler quelques heures après notre arrivée au pays. Ce fut un retour à la réalité extrêmement brutal et je me suis promis de ne jamais revivre une telle situation même si à ce moment nous avions pas le choix à cause de nos emplois d'agir de la sorte. Ce deuxième voyage sera, je l'espère, plus calme même si en même temps je sais que ce sera une période d'adaptation très intense pour notre fils et aussi pour nous.

Durant l'ensemble de notre processus d'adoption, l'ensemble de nos actions étaient planifiées en fonction de ce fameux moment où nous pourrions rencontrer notre fils et créer notre nouvelle famille. Maintenant que ce moment est enfin arrivée, je ressent un mélange d'émotion à la fois heureuses mais aussi très bizarre. Nous avons dès le début de ce processus pris conscience que ce serait un grand changement à vivre pour notre fils et que nous devions avoir la patience de lui permettre de vivre les émotions reliées à cette transition dans sa vie. Aujourd'hui, je réalise que non seulement mon fils aura à vivre ces émotions mais moi aussi. J'ai longtemps axé l'ensemble de ce processus sur les besoins de mon fils et maintenant je dois prendre conscience que pour créer une famille nous allons devoir prendre en considération les besoins et les émotions de l'ensemble des membres de notre famille c'est à dire nos émotions en tant que parent. Ce processus est beaucoup plus complexe que juste l'idée d'être désormais trois à vivre ensemble. Depuis trois ans, le processus qui nous a amené à adopter notre fils était structuré et organisé. Nous avions de nombreuses étapes à franchir et nous étions directement ou indirectement soutenu par notre agence ou les autres familles à travers ces nombreuses formalités. Aujourd'hui, je réalise que le chemin devant moi est désormais inconnu et qu'il n'incombe qu'à moi même de prendre les décisions qui s'imposent. Après avoir été dirigée, évaluée, soutenue je dois maintenant tourner la page et commencer ce que j'attend depuis si longtemps.... créer ma propre famille. Lorsque nous quitterons le Canada nous serons un couple et lorsque nous serons de retour nous serons pour toujours trois.

1 month.... and teacher's thoughts

2011-05-28T11:38:00.007-06:00

I am now starting to count the days before the end of the school year. I don't get me wrong I love my job but this time of the year is all the time exhausting. Kids are tired to be in school. Since we do not have snow any reason are good to have a outside classroom which is not all the time realistic. I love my job but I have realize that most of the people around me think they know what teaching is about but in reality they don't see how large our role is. People are teasing about my 2 months summer holidays (without paid) and my 2 weeks at Christmas (also without paid). In their eyes we are spoiled to have all this time off. Let me tell you that working with children or teenagers everyday is a wonderful but also a challenging job.

When I started to be a teacher I underestimate the effect of the social stimulation will have on my personal health. I don't think they is much research done about that but it's very interesting to realize that we are in a society more and more individual. We have less children then before but our houses are bigger. In the mean time, we still see the school with our old glasses and expect a big group of children (30 and more) to get along all day in the same room. 50 years ago this mentality was acceptable because our society was thinking differently (group values). Now, our students are raise in a society where personal space and rights are the main value. As a teacher, it is reality interesting to see 30 students sit on a 1970 desk (with the chair attach to the desk) and interact in a size room good for 20 students. Their is no adults will accept to stay in this small environment for a such long period of time. Why do we ask our child to do it ? Also, I notice that our students have a lack of communication skills. They are good for texting and find funny video on Youtube but when the time come to have a real interaction with each other they seem to do not know what to do. One thing I notice in the majority if my groups through the past fews years is the volume of their voice. They literally yell at each other. I often wondering why they need to be so loud and I one day I ask them why they were acting like that. Their answers really surprise me.

- I don't like the silence (Really ? It can be so beautiful)

- I don't hear when someone talk (Really ? How come ? You are only 12 years old)

and the one surprise me the most was...

- I hear little noise in my ears when it silence and I hate that. Having a lot of noise around me help me to not hear these little noises. (What ???? )

I knew what this student was talking about... tinnitus. However, I couldn't not tell him because I am not a doctor. Then I ask them how many did ever hear these little noise ? I still could not believe what I saw... half of the class raise their hand. On ask me...

- Why do we hear these noises in our ears ?

This question was ask few years ago and I am still thinking about that. Since how our society have put our children health on the side and give priority to all the technology noisy gadgets ? One of my students told me that he keeps all day his earphone playing in his ears.... another one tell me that every morning (before school) he watch a movie on a surrond sound system. They both were really surprise when I told them that on a daily basis this level of noise is not recommended. We may not realize but if we do not change our life habits not only our children will not be able to interact correctly with their pairs but in 10 years our teenagers will hear like a grandpa.

I don't want a be too dramatic but for the sake of our children we need to change some of our life habits. First our children need proper size classrooms where they can feel comfortable to learn and interact with each other all days long. Also, we need to teach them how to use properly all technology gadgets so their future health will not be affect by the unknown choices they make today.

After teaching them French Language.... this is also another part of the long list of the social responsibilities I have as teacher.

So close...

2011-05-19T21:06:00.002-06:00

We still don't know when we will receive our son's visa but we were told that we are very close. This feeling of be able to bring my son at home is so great. Since too many years, I have put my work and my studies first in my life. Everything I had accomplished was great but will never replace the joy I have to be very soon with my son. This feeling is deep and strong. I know it will be not an everyday fairy tale to have a child in our home. A lot of things will need to be change. We have been very spoiled to be able to do what we want, when we want since many years. Now, it time to include in our life a young little person who will be part of our family forever.

When Grey's anatomy talk about adoption...

2011-05-06T17:44:00.003-06:00

I am a big fan of Grey's anatomy. In fact, I start learning my English with this TV show. I started watch in French and then I was very interest to know what will happen after the first season so instead of wait few month I jumped and start to watch the whole series (2 and 3) in English. At first it was pretty hard but with time I was able to understand and enjoy again.

So, yesterday episode bring in the air the idea about international adoption. Meredith was holding a little african baby girl and Derek (her husband) said...

- Let adopt her... what do you think ?

- Well, I don't know.... What do we need to do ?

Come one... the idea is fantastic but the impression on easiness about adopting this little girl is not right. At least they mention after that they have a home study to do... more realistic.

10 weeks...

2011-04-27T15:12:00.003-06:00

This is the time the latest citizenship was granted by CIC. This is mean that in around 12 weeks we might be able to flight again to Ethiopia and pick up our son. Wow ! I do not want rejoice to fast and I am still careful knowing that adoption road is full of surprises but I start thinking about our family life more and ever, especially since we are now moving in our new house. This house is not only for me and my husband but also for our son. We choose this house with the idea that a little boy will be living with us and we will start a new life all together. I very love this place because the concept is all open (except for our bedrooms). During the first year (and also later) our family priority will be to create attachment and bonding all together. We are three different persons who need to learn each other and find the way to live as a family. It might seem natural and easy for the majority of family but for us is not. For our child we will be stranger. Yes, I know it seem weird but as much as I am in love with my son right now the reality is... he is not in love with us because he is grieving. For an outside eyes we will look like a happy family (pictures give all the time this impression of forever family joy) but in reality we will face some challenges that usually families does not need to deal with. However, their is hope and the key to have a successful family life will be time, patience and proximity. My son need to understand that I am not a caregiver, I am his mom. So, for a long time, we will look like over protecting him. He will be with us all the time. Of course, he will socialize with friends but mommy or daddy will be all the time around at first and slowly we will give him more independence but it may take a while.

So for the next year, we do not expect a lot of time as couple but time as family. If we need to go somewhere, we will go as family. It will take more organization then we are use to (we are very spoil right now doing what we want when we want) but on the long term, the time we will take as family will pay back and allow my son to have a positive relationship with his new life with us. So, in our new life, we will be all together on good and challenging days.

TheStar Children underfed at Ethiopian ‘transition’ home run by Imagine Adoption: lawyer

2011-04-25T10:35:00.001-06:00

In July 2009, my husband and I went through a very traumatic situation with our adoption agency bankruptcy. As much as I want forget this moment I still remember how painful was this situation not only for us but for the children living in the transition house. A big part of adoption process is based on trust. We are trusting that our agency and the workers in Ethiopia are doing all in their power to ensure that our child is properly look after. As a mom, this part is really hard to deal with because even if I have the joy to be now the mom of a hansom little boy I still need to trust that everything is ok for him over their until the time we will receive our visa and go pick him up. Right now, I have this trust and I pray that all people who work with my son act with wisdom and love. However, I can't imagine the pain when some parents discover after the bankruptcy that their children were not feed enough during many months. We had the chance to talk a little bit about that with some former employed and two years after, this tragical event still bring tears to their eyes. This article will tell you more about what happen in July 2009.

TheStar Children underfed at Ethiopian ‘transition’ home run by Imagine Adoption: lawyer

Final countdown....

2011-04-21T19:53:00.002-06:00

Our documents had reach Nairobi this morning. This is mean that pretty soon (hoping in July) we will be able to pick up our son and bring him at home forever. Our journey to him is not done but we can start to see the end. I can't wait to have my son running in my house, climbing the stairs, kick his soccer ball.... our family's life will change pretty soon and I am ready for this new chapter.

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Nos documents pour commencer les démarches d'immigrations sont arrivés ce matin à Nairobi. Cela signifie que très bientôt, probablement cet été, nous pourrons aller chercher notre fils et commencer notre vie de famille. Notre grande aventure n'est pas terminé mais la fin approche. J'ai très hâte d'entendre sa petite voix résonner dans notre maison, le voir courir et monter les escaliers, frapper son ballon de soccer.... Notre vie de famille est sur le point de changer et je suis prête....

Final step...

2011-04-13T16:28:00.002-06:00

We are now entering in our final step... our son's visa. We received today his passport and our adoption agreement and we can now apply for his visa. Since we started our adoption process I was dreaming about this moment because waiting for your visa mean that your are almost done. Now we are there... so incredible. I can now say that in few months he will be living with us forever. I am hoping that we will be able to pick him up in July.

CTV Toronto - Operators of bankrupt adoption agency charged - CTV News

2011-04-08T18:41:00.002-06:00

CTV Toronto - Operators of bankrupt adoption agency charged - CTV News

I don't know what to say, unless I just feel that when you choose to be dishonest you need to face the justice for your actions. We were one of the families affected by Imagine Adoption bankruptcy almost two years ago now. This summer was very traumatic for our family and it took me almost a year to recovery from this. I though I was done with all of that but today I realize that this memory was still fragile. I think what hurt me the most is dishonesty. When you are in a situation when you are in charge of children you have no excuse to let them down. Now, they need to face the charge laid against them.

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La nouvelle m'a laissé sans voix. Presque deux ans plus tard, que pouvons nous dire à propos de cette terrible situation ? Pas grand chose. En Juillet 2009 nous étions une des familles affecté par la faillite de notre agence d'adoption. Cet été fut vraiment difficile pour notre famille et il m'a fallu presque un an pour m'en remettre. J'ai longtemps pensé que ces mauvais souvenirs étaient loin derrière moi mais aujourd'hui j'ai réalisé que ce n'était pas tout à fait le cas. Dans cette situation, ce qui me fait le plus de peine c'est la malhonnêteté. Quand nous sommes responsables d'enfants il n'y a aucune excuse valable pour les laisser tomber par suite. Aujourd'hui, il est temps pour eux de faire face aux charges dont ils sont accusés.

La rencontre avec notre fils.... et la fin du voyage

2011-04-02T12:33:00.004-06:00

J'ai été pas mal silencieuse ces derniers temps et pour cause.... notre histoire n'a pas été un conte de fée lorsque nous étions en Éthiopie et je n'étais pas capable de mettre les mots pour la raconter. Cependant, depuis la semaine dernière, l'épisode vécue en Afrique a eu une fin heureuse et il me fait plaisir de vous la raconter.

Au début du mois de février nous sommes allés en Éthiopie à la demande de la cour pour finaliser la demande d'adoption. Normalement, cette visite est une question de formalité et le jugement est accordé assez facilement. À part quelques détails administratifs, la majorité des familles qui étaient passé quelques semaines avant nous avait obtenu leur jugement lors de leur première visite et nous étions très confiant que ce serait la même chose pour nous.

Deux jours après notre arrivée, nous avons eu la permission d'aller visiter notre fils. Pour les besoins de la cour il était nécessaire de voir l'enfant avant afin que nous puissions répondre au juge le lendemain que nous avions vu et que nous étions prêt à l'adopter. Cette visite fut un beau souvenir. J'appréhendais énormément cette première rencontre. Comment est-ce que j'allais réagir ? Comment allait-il réagir ? Comment serait la première impression autant pour lui que pour nous. Le ventre me tordait tellement l'inconnu de ne pas savoir comment réagir me rongeait. Je savais que nous allions avoir une rencontre de groupe avec d'autres enfants et je me demandais comment j'allais pouvoir réagir de façon naturelle sachant que j'allais voir pour la première fois cet enfant que j'attend depuis si longtemps. Puisqu'on m'avait informé quelques mois auparavant que son état de santé était problématique je m'attendais donc à trouver un enfant chétif et hésitant. Quel ne fut pas surprise lorsqu'on m'a montré du doigt un petit garçon qui courrait au loin. Je me suis alors retourné vers mon mari et je me rappelle lui avoir dit qu'un enfant qui courait autant n'avait pas l'air d'être malade. Quel soulagement ! On m'a confirmé que sa santé était meilleure, quel bonheur ! Après les hésitations que nous avions eu au mois de novembre dernier, ce fut un réel soulagement de pouvoir constater de mes propres yeux que la décision que nous avions prise quelques mois auparavant était la bonne.

Je me suis alors approché de lui et il m'a regardé avec ses grands yeux. Je n'avais pas le droit de lui dire que j'allais devenir très bientôt sa maman mais je pouvais, par les yeux, lui communiquer mon amour. Il m'a alors montré sa balloune.... mon coeur de maman a fait un tour. Je ne pouvais rien faire et mon fils était là entrain de vouloir machouiller une balloune. Un autre parent avait apporté des ballounes pour faire plaisir aux enfants et ils étaient très heureux de pouvoir les mettre dans leurs bouches et les mâcher comme de la gomme... :o L'horreur totale !!! J'étais là à ne pouvoir rien faire et je ne pouvais m'y résoudre. J'ai délicatement enlever la baloune dégonflé des mains de mon fils, je l'ai gonflé et bien attaché solidement. Il m'a regardé avec ses yeux mécontents. Il semble avoir du caractère mon petit gars. Peut importe, je n'allais pas rester là à le voir mâcher une balloune dans sa bouche et ne rien faire. Je lui ai alors montré comment jouer avec la balloune en la lançant dans les air. Rapidement, son sourire est revenu et il était fort content de courir après sa balloune qui se laissait emporter par le vent.

Il m'a fallu par la suite prendre le temps de jouer avec les autres enfants car je n'avais pas le droit de concentrer uniquement mon attention sur lui. Ce fut très difficile mais cela m'a permit de prendre le temps de l'observer et de remarquer comment il réagissait avec ses paires et son environnement. Mon mari à aussi passer du temps avec lui et nous avons constaté très rapidement qu'il était très observateur et il apprenait très rapidement. La visite d'une heure s'est passé trop rapidement. Nous avons quitté l'orphelinat avec l'image de sa petite main qui nous disais au revoir. Nous étions rempli d'espoir que le lendemain nous allions obtenir le jugement de la cour et que nous allions pouvoir le revoir.

Le lendemain, j'étais très nerveuse. Le moment tant attendu était enfin arrivé. J'allais devenir officiellement la maman de mon fils et je ne pouvais plus attendre. Dans un moment de nervosité, j'ai remarqué que j'avais déchiré l'intérieur de l'ourlet de ma jupe. L'horreur !!! Je suis parti à la recherche d'une aiguille et d'un bout de fil. Nerveusement, j'ai recousu l'ourlet de ma jupe devant un mari très surpris de constater que je pouvais coudre. On se trouve des talents cachés quand on est en Afrique. Nous sommes partis avec les autres familles de notre agence. C'était la fête, tout le monde riait et parlait. À mi-chemin nous sommes arrêté pour embarquer la représentante de l'agence. Au lieu de venir s'assoir avec nous, elle est restée dans le cadre de la porte pour nous informer que notre rendez-vous à la cour avait été reporté à l'après-midi et qu'elle ne pouvait pas préciser pourquoi. L'adrénaline est alors descendu d'un coup et nous sommes retourné à notre hôtel très silencieusement. On nous a alors proposé d'aller magasiner pour passer le temps avant de retourner à la cour. Je déteste magasiner quand je suis au Canada car je trouve qu'il y a trop de monde et que l'atmosphère est étourdissante. Imaginez comment cette réalité est 100x pire en Éthiopie. Sous une chaleur accablante, nous avons visité quelques kiosques sur le bord de la route. La poussière, le nombre de personne, les mendiants, les gens qui nous achalent pour nous servirent de guide en échange de quelques dollars.... c'était trop, j'avais l'impression que ma tête allait exploser. Ce qui est assez surprenant c'est que tout dépendant de votre personnalité il est possible que vous aimiez vivre dans ce genre d'ambiance. Pour moi c'était complètement l'opposé.

Avec soulagement, nous sommes finalement retourné à l'hôtel. Après nous avoir rafraîchit, nous sommes remonté dans la camionnette et devant la porte la représentante de l'agence nous a une fois de plus informé qu'un petit changement avait eu lieu et qu'il était important que nous soyons au courant. Je n'étais pas sûr de bien comprendre. Quand je suis nerveuse ou fatigué j'ai plus de difficulté à comprendre l'anglais et tout ce que je me rappelle c'est d'avoir entendu dans un brouillard de mots qu'une nouvelle règle avait été instaurée le matin même et que nous n'allions pas pouvoir obtenir la garde légale de nos enfants parce qu'il nous manquait un papier avec une signature. Quoi ??? Comment est-ce possible ? Pourquoi ne pas nous avoir averti à l'avance ? Si la règle a été instaurée ce matin, pourquoi l'avoir rendu effective pour l'après-midi même ? J'étais dévastée et silencieusement je me suis mis à pleurer. Avec les émotions des derniers jours, la fatigue accumulée, la rencontre de notre fils et là l'idée de savoir que le jugement de la cour allait être reportée à une date ultérieure ça en était trop. Je veux bien être forte, persévérer devant les difficultés mais là la situation commençait à être ridicule.

À notre arrivée, je me rappelle avoir marché sur le trottoir, la tête penchée, les yeux plein de larmes. Nous avons monté les marches d'un petit escalier très étroit qui tournait de façon très abrupte quand soudain une femme qui descendait est tombé devant moi. Elle avait trébuchée et les gens la contournait pour pouvoir poursuivre leur chemin sans se préoccupé de son état. Je me rappelle que l'émotion dans son visage était plus grande que juste la douleur d'avoir trébuché dans l'escalier. C'est alors que quelqu'un m'a chuchoté dans l'oreille que ce devait être un parent biologique qui venait de rencontrer le juge pour renoncer à ses droits parentaux. Le visage de cette femme était dévasté par la douleur et rapidement nous avons aidé à se relever. Nous avons poursuivi notre chemin jusqu'au 5e étage incertain de ce que nous venions de voir. Nous sommes entré dans une petite pièce rempli de famille éthiopienne. Nous étions là, en minorité. La couleur de notre peau nous identifiait clairement comme étant des familles adoptives. J'ai alors compris que ces familles étaient les familles biologiques qui attendais de rencontrer le juge pour renoncer à leurs droits parentaux. Cette difficile réalité à remis en perspective ma douleur de ne pas obtenir le jugement de la cour ce jour même. J'avais de la peine mais la douleur de ces parents était beaucoup plus grande et s'ils étaient capable de pouvoir affronter cette réalité dignement il me fallait aussi apprendre à réagir de la sorte. Debout, inconfortable, nous avons attendu pendant plus d'une heure. Quand finalement nous sommes passé devant le juge. Les questions étaient simples. Avions-nous de enfants ? Si oui, quelles étaient leurs réactions face à notre projet d'adopter un enfant ? Avions-nous vu l'enfant ? Étions-nous d'accord pour l'adopter ? Si oui, est-ce que nous comprenons que l'adoption est un jugement irrévocable ? Quelles sont les actions que nous prévoyons faire pour conserver la culture d'origine de notre enfant ? Cinq minutes plus tard, le juge a statué que le seul document manquant était ce nouveau papier (instauré le matin même) et que le jugement final serait reporté.... 6 semaines plus tard. Je pouvais pas en croire mes oreilles.... 6 semaines. Normalement, les familles qui avaient leur jugement reporté attendait entre 2 à 3 semaines. Comment se pouvait-il que notre date soit aussi loin ? Comme nous n'avions pas obtenu la garde légale de notre fils, nous n'avions pas le droit de le revoir avant notre départ pour le Canada. D'un côté, j'étais contente de ne pas lui imposer notre visite et par la suite avoir à le quitter pour plusieurs mois. Ne pas le revoir était avantageux pour son bien-être mais d'un autre côté il me fallait revenir à la maison avec cette incertitude qui planait encore sur notre tête. Le reste du voyage fut très mélancolique. J'étais très heureuse qu'il nous reste seulement 2 jours. Le dénouement de notre visite à la cour m'avais enlevé totalement le goût d'être en vacances et mon seul désir était de retourner à la maison afin d'oublier mes soucis. Je comptais sur mon emploi pour occuper mes pensées et éviter de réfléchir à tout cela mais peine perdu, mon coeur est resté accroché en Éthiopie là où mon fils était.

Les 6 semaines qui ont suivi on été très difficile à vivre. En plus de la fatigue physique, il me fallait gérer cette inquiétude de ne pas savoir. Les règles ont de nouveau changées pendant cette période. Afin d'assurer un meilleur contrôle du nombre des adoptions, le nombre de lettre écrites par le gouvernement est passé de 20 à 5 par jour. Cette lettre était essentielle pour finaliser notre demande d'adoption et l'inquiétude est montée d'un cran lorsque j'ai appris cette nouvelle. L'idée derrière un meilleur contrôle des adoptions est excellente mais d'un autre côté il y a aussi les familles adoptives qui vivent un stress énorme et qui doivent s'adapter à des changements qui arrivent presque à chaque mois et qui deviennent effectifs la journée même. Depuis 1 an, notre réalité a bien changé au niveau du processus d'adoption et là nous étions rendu à bout de souffle.

Finalement, le grand jour est arrivé. Notre agence nous a informé que notre dossier était complet mais que la lettre du gouvernement était toujours manquante car il en écrivait moins qu'auparavant. Elle nous a cependant rassuré que suite à des pressions par de nombreux pays, plus de 5 lettres par jour étaient écrite et que nous avions des bonnes chances de recevoir notre lettre dans les jours qui allaient suivre. J'ai donc pris mon mal en patience et prié que cette lettre arrive très rapidement. Deux jours plus tard, j'ai reçu un courriel de mon agence me demandant de les rappeler le plus rapidement possible ce qui n'était vraiment pas commun puisque normalement nos contacts se font par courriel. J'ai immédiatement appelé notre agence mais dû à des conditions climatiques difficiles (tempête de neige) les employés avaient eu l'autorisation de quitter plus tôt cet après-midi là et nous a fallu attendre jusqu'au lendemain pour avoir des informations supplémentaires.

Le lendemain matin, j'étais très nerveuse un peu comme si j'étais sur le point de faire un test de grossesse et qu'il allait me confirmer que j'étais enceinte. Mon intuition était bonne, le but de l'appel était pour nous informer que la lettre était arrivé et que nous étions désormais les parents légaux de notre fils. Quelle joie !!! Pour la première fois de ma vie j'étais légalement la maman de quelqu'un. Le sentiment qui m'a envahit à ce moment était calme et très puissant comme si désormais j'avais changé officiellement de statut. Certains diront que j'étais une maman bien avant le jugement de la cour et que je n'avais pas besoin d'un papier pour me faire sentir de la sorte. Pourtant, pour moi, ce papier a fait une grande différence. Désormais, c'est officiel, il est là dans notre vie et lorsque je planifie quelque chose il y a les besoins de cette 3e petite personne qu'il nous fait considérer à notre plus grand bonheur.

Il me fait donc plaisir de conclure cette épisode en sachant que nous avons accompli un grand pas. Je me rappelle en juillet 2009 quand notre agence avait fait faillite comment grand était le désespoir qui nous avait envahit. Nous en avons fait du chemin depuis ce temps là. On a réfléchit, on a reconsidéré nos besoins, on est devenu plus mature. Aujourd'hui, presque 2 ans plus tard, je peux désormais célébrer le bonheur d'être la maman de mon petit trésor.

Do you have a children ?

2011-03-31T21:25:00.002-06:00

Since last week I can proudly answer.... YES ! I have a little boy. I can now feel more comfortable in a mommy circle discussion and I even enjoy (I didn't before) some easy chatting about baby, children and house life. What a change for me.

However, there is still some people who will try and ask... Do you have children on your own ?

- What ? I just answer.... Yes ! I have a little boy...

- Well, you know what I mean......

- No I don't... my son is my own child and I am very proud to be his mom.

We got THE letter !

2011-03-24T17:35:00.003-06:00

Yes ! it true... we received our letter yesterday and we found out this morning that our son is now legally our. So incredible, we are so happy. We found out this morning but yesterday I had a kind of feeling that our letter was there. Wednesday, I was at work and at lunch hour I saw that our adoption administrator had send me a email few hours ago. Her message was simple....

Please call me back or let me know what is your work number so I can call you.

On the moment, I did not realize and then few second later I read again and I realize that something was going on because our agency never call me (we use email all the time) or it me I contact them if I have a question. I can't do long distance call in my classroom so I run to the office and I ask if I can do a long distance call RIGHT NOW. They could see that something was going on and they were super excited to know the latest new about our adoption. Then, I got her answer machine.... fine I thought I will call later. Then the afternoon pass and when I realize that it was already 17h in the province where my agency is located I was very confuse. I did not understand why I was suppose to call back and with no answer I started to think that it might be my imagination. I read again my email, and then few hours later... read again. It was not my imagination but I knew I will only found out the day later. All evening, I was on pin and needles. I was praying that this phone call was for our letter and not for a bad new. The night was very long, I woke up few time and it was hard to keep my mind free. Early this morning, I called and I had the confirmation that our letter was there and now my son was legally our.

On Feb 11th we were 4 families.... 3 got their letter today and one is still waiting. Let pray that this family received very soon her letter and my joy will be complete.

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Oui, c'est bien vrai ! Nous avons reçu notre lettre de support et nous avons appris ce matin que nous sommes les parents légaux de notre fils. C'est tellement extraordinaire... nous sommes très heureux de voir enfin un dénouement à cette longue attente.

Nous avons appris la nouvelle ce matin mais déjà hier j'avais l'impression que la lettre était déjà arrivé. Mercredi, j'étais au travail quand, pendant l'heure du lunch, j'ai vu que la personne responsable de notre dossier à l'agence m'avais envoyé un courriel. Le message était bien simple, elle me demandait de la rappeler le plus tôt possible ou de lui communiquer le numéro où elle pouvait me rejoindre au travail. Sur le coup, je n'ai pas réalisé sur le moment la signification de ce message quand très rapidement tout est devenu très clair. Si elle essayait de me rejoindre c'est surement parce qu'elle avait quelque chose de très important à m'annoncer car elle ne m'a jamais appelé (normalement nos communications se font par courriel). Je ne suis pas en mesure de faire des appels longue distance dans ma salle de classe alors j'ai immédiatement couru au secrétariat et j'ai presque hurlé que j'avais besoin de faire un appel longue distance MAINTENANT. Tout le monde dans le bureau était curieux de savoir ce qui pouvait bien se passer et de mon côté j'ai composé fébrilement le numéro de notre agence. Pas de chance, je suis tombée sur sa boite vocale. Pas de problème, je vais rappeler plus tard ai-je pensé à ce moment là. Puis, l'après-midi s'est passé sans retour d'appel. J'ai alors commencé à douter. Est-ce que j'avais imaginé ce courriel et que finalement il n'y avait pas de développement récent ? Pourquoi est-ce qu'elle me demandait de la rappeler et ensuite je n'avais pas de retour d'appel. Tout est devenu tellement confus dans ma tête. J'étais déçue mais en même temps je savais que ça ne servais à rien d'être négative et découragée puisque je ne savais pas encore la raison de cet appel. La nuit fut longue et tourmentée. Je me suis réveillée souvent et il était difficile de ne pas m'inquiéter.

Finalement, ce matin j'ai appelé notre agence avant d'aller au travail et j'ai appris la merveilleuse nouvelle que j'étais désormais légalement sa maman. Quel bonheur !

It gonna be ok...

2011-03-21T10:12:00.004-06:00

First of all, I would like to thanks friends and family who took the time to write something on my blog, send me a email or praying for us. We feel so bless to have a such of amazing support group for us right now.

Now.... what happen ? I went in my bed early yesterday hoping that sleeping will help me to kill the time I need to wait before I can have some new from Ethiopia. My head was on Addis time and I was thinking what could happen for us.... I try to keep myself busy with packing but it was not enough so I end up going in my bed.

Then I wake up this morning like a little girl on Christmas day.... so excited to open my present. I feel it was like doing a pregnancy test... Then I sit down on my kitchen floor close to my phone and I wait.... wait.... and wait... My idea was to wait for them to call instead of me calling them. As I was sit on the floor my imagination was working and I could almost hear a nice voice telling me that after all this years of waiting I was the mommy of my son. Then after a hour of wait I decided to call.

The GOOD new is we do not have another court date. This mean that everything in our file is in order. Only one thing is missing the supporting letter from the ethiopian government. Having this letter as been a nightmare recently as they decided two weeks ago to only write 5 letters per day instead of 17-20 they used to do before. This letter is very important and without we can have our adoption order granted. However, knowing that only 5 letters per day was issued (in the whole world) we were very worries about how it can affect our court date. Should we have another court date and then wait for another month ? It was my biggest fear. Obviously, reducing the number of letter have create a huge backlog putting a lot of families in limbo. What will happen with us ? That was one of the major concerns we had. Then we were told this morning that we will not need to have another court date. According to the judge, when we will receive our supporting letter our adoption will be grated.

So the good new is..... from now our adoption can be finalize anytime. Of course, I would prefer to hear that our son was legally our but knowing that we do not have to wait another month for another court day is a very positive new for us.

We are now rejoicing that our son will be with us very soon. Let be confident that everything will be ok....

Believe and having faith....

2011-03-20T16:55:00.002-06:00

Tonight is THE night. Tomorrow morning we will receive a call and no matter what happen since the last few weeks I still believe that miracle is possible. Yes, a lot of thing change in our adoption process since we have start but no matter what, God is still in control of our situation and I truly believe that tomorrow will bring a positive outcome for our family.

What is faith ? Faith is believe something you don't see and something you cannot understand. Faith is knowing that no matter how hard is the situation God can still do a miracle. Faith is believe that my son will be with us this summer.

Thanks for your prayers and your support to the last week.

It not over yet !!!

2011-03-13T17:43:00.002-06:00

Our second court date is in a week from now... A lot of emotion has been in our life since our first court date on Feb. 11. This situation has being more stressful since the reduction of number of letters write by MOWA. By writing 5 letters/day, it's not difficult to understand that on the 21th some families will not received their letter.

For me it time to step away for my blog and all discussions about adoption and keep my mind in prayer until our son is legally our.

I will be back soon.... until then keep up in prayers.

First impressions...

2011-03-07T18:11:00.005-06:00

I have starting to opening... like a flower. I can't believe I have being so quiet during the last three weeks. The first week, I was in shock. Too much happen in the same time. January was one of the busy month of my life... trying to be ready for our trip to Ethiopia, preparing my classroom for my sub, applying my research project on a possible federal grant and.... trying to sell our house... Yes ! I did all that... way too much.

Then February 5th came, like a dream we left Canada and we flew to meet our son. Our trip was very long Toronto-London (with a 12h hours layover) then London-Addis. My husband and I really enjoy this time we had for ourselves sit side by side. After almost 48 hours in plane and airport we reach the african continent for the first time.... My dream was coming trough, after all this years of waiting, I was in Africa. Trough the last year, I carefully took a lot of notes from families who had traveled before us. Everything when perfectly (visa, custom, luggages) until almost at the end when a paid porter came to us and took our luggage to help us. I was so tired then I did not realize what trouble I was putting myself in. He took the whole control of everything, pushed our luggage (even if we did not ask him to do) and lead us to the exit. To be honest, I had no idea why this guy was helping us... he might be just want be nice... MISTAKE !!! This guy was a paid porter. His job is to help us (without asking him) and he expects to be paid after. Fine... the problem was that we did not have any Birr, just US money. He insisted he want to be paid and I was wondering how I will be able to get out of this situation. Anyway, I did not have any choice (what I thought at this moment) and I gave him $20 US... I know it way too much but I did not know what to do, we were alone in the airport and we had no idea who was our driver. Then he ask me for more... What ???? I just gave you $20 for 5 minutes of work (unsolicited) and you want more ???? Even me I do not make this amount for 5 minutes of work.... For his boss he told me. Now I realize that it was only the beginning of what I will discover about hierarchy social pyramid in Africa and I will learn more and more trough my week in Addis.

I think it about time...

2011-02-27T23:57:00.002-06:00

... to talk about my recent trip to Ethiopia. It took my about two weeks before I start to be comfortable to share about my ethiopian journey. Thanks to my faithful readers who patiently wait for me during my long silence. Contrast, poverty, courage, survivor attitude... these are the words in my mind when I think about ethiopian people.

I will be back tomorrow and talk more about this incredible journey.

Still proceeding...

2011-02-23T22:13:00.002-06:00

Already one week since we are back from Ethiopia. I just want let you know that I am not able to write about our trip for now. I am still proceeding about what happen over there. This trip was intense and a huge reality check. I started writing in French thinking that my feelings might be easier to be express in my first language. Unfortunately, I have stop the day I met my little boy. I think I am just not ready to talk about that right now.

So, I just want let you know that I am doing good but only need some time for now.....
I will be back soon....

Help Kids in Ethiopia - Aider les enfants en Ethiopie

2011-02-17T06:21:00.002-06:00

Voici quelques informations au sujet de l'orphelinat que nous avons eu le privilège de visiter lors de notre visite à Adama.

Jour 4 : 8 février 2011

2011-02-17T05:46:00.007-06:00

Déjà trois jours que nous sommes en voyage et ce matin est le premier où j'ai l'occasion de me réveiller dans un lit. Les derniers jours ont été consacrés au voyage et de nombreuses heures ont disparues en raison du décalage horaire. Dès l'aube, la prière du matin m'a réveillée. Ce n'était pas très fort mais juste assez pour me rappeler que je n'étais pas dans mon environnement habituel. Incapable de dormir, j'ai décidé de me lever car j'étais bien décidé de profiter pleinement de ces quelques jours ici. Une douche glaciale m'a rapidement ramener à la réalité. L'eau n'était pas seulement froide mais brutale. Ce choc de la réalité m'a rappelé que je n'étais pas seulement en voyage mais réellement en Afrique. Grelottant sous les couverture, je me raisonné en me disant que l'expérience de la douche glaciale faisait partie des souvenirs que j'allais rapporter avec moi et qu'il ne fallait pas s'en faire plus que ça. Pour mon mari, l'expérience fut traumatisante. D'emblée, il m'a annoncé que si l'eau était aussi froide il n'allait pas prendre sa douche pour le reste du voyage.... heu ???? Vraiment ???? Ce fut ma motivation pour trouver une façon d'obtenir une eau plus tiède car il n'était pas question de côtoyer quelqu'un d'aussi près avec les chaleurs du jour sans avoir de douche.

Aujourd'hui, nous avons prévue d'aller à Adama, une petite ville à deux heures de la capitale. Les élèves de mon école avaient ramassé 1400 $ pour aider un orphelinat de la région et j'étais l'heureuse messagère de ce cadeau. Nous avions un sac de don (50 paires de souliers, 2 ballon de soccer, lunettes de soleil) mais le plus important était le fait que nous avions choisi d'apporter une partie de l'argent là-bas pour leur permettre d'aller acheter sur place ce qu'ils avaient besoin. Non seulement nous allions les aider mais nous allions aussi aider leur économie locale. Lorsque vient le moment d'aider un organisme dans un pays en développement il est très important de remarquer certaines petites choses qui à mon avis font une grande différence. Voici quelques unes des caractéristiques que je préfère privilégier.

1- Une organisation gérée par les gens de la place : Il est important à mon avis que les gens locaux (dans ce cas des Éthiopiens) prennent en charge l'organisation et la gestion d'organisme d'aide de leur communauté. Il est malsain à mon avis d'arriver d'un pays occidentalisé et de vouloir prendre en charge leur bien-être comme si nous étions leur sauveur. Agir de la sorte revient à rétablit l'attitude négative du colonialisme et n'encourage pas la prise en charge autonome et l'égalité sociale.

2- Aider selon les besoins exprimés par la réalité vécue en Afrique et non selon ma perspective nord-américaine: Je suis arrivée en Éthiopie avec l'idée que j'allais acheter pour plus de 1000 $ de nourriture. Heu ????? C'est parce que ce malgré toute ma bonne volonté et mes bonne intention ce n'était pas une bonne idée car sans réfrigérateur ou congélateur la nourriture ne peut pas se conserver aussi longtemps avec les grandes chaleur présentes pendant la journée. De plus, ces gens savent ce qu'ils ont besoin et le respect humain passe aussi par leur faire confiance dans les choix qu'ils choisissent de faire.

3- Encourager l'économie locale : L'idée d'apporter des dons du Canada est bonne mais souvent on ne réalise pas que certains dons, même si l'intention est bonne, ne sont pas appropriés. L'idée d'apporter de la nourriture du Canada est complètement farfelue au niveau du poids et du montant à payer. Au contraire, acheter localement permet non seulement d'encourager l'économie locale mais aussi d'acheter plus avec moins. De plus, acheter locale permet au gens d'acheter réellement ce qu'ils ont besoin. Souvent on ne réalise pas que des jouets à batteries et des crayons marqueurs ne sont pas des dons qui permettent d'aider à long terme car ces objets ont une durée de vie très courte. De plus, on oublie souvent le fait que les habitudes alimentaires sont différentes d'un endroit à l'autre. Par exemple, l'endroit que nous avons visité, ne mange pas de pain tel que nous le connaissons avec de la levure. Demander aux gens de changer leurs habitudes de vie sous prétexte que nous voulons les aider est aussi une attitude non égalitaire.

Nous avons donc passé l'ensemble de la journée a acheter des produits choisis par les gens en charge de l'orphelinat. Ensemble, nous sommes allés magasiné, ils ont choisi ce qu'ils voulaient et ils ont payé eux-même puisque la dignité humaine c'est aussi de refuser la mendicité. La journée fut très agréable et nous avons appris à connaître un peu plus la mission de cette organisation fondée et gérée par un frère et une soeur, deux Éthiopiens au grand coeur.

Jour 3 : 7 février 2011

2011-02-16T17:25:00.006-06:00

Les deux premiers jours de notre voyage avaient été entièrement consacrés au temps d'attente dans les aéroports, aux nombreuses heures de vol et bien sûr 9h avait disparu à cause du décalage horaire. Nous sommes donc arrivée à notre hôtel très tôt le matin du 7 février prêt à commencer une nouvelle journée même si inconsciemment notre horloge biologique était prête à aller se coucher. C'est assez drôle de penser que lorsque la journée commence à Addis, les gens au Canada sont sur le point d'aller se coucher. Un monde complètement à l'envers.

La route vers notre hôtel fut très courte mais assez longue pour que je puisse constater assez rapidement l'ampleur de la pauvreté dans ce pays. Ces images puissantes et pénétrantes étaient intenses et difficiles à oublier. Durant l'ensemble de mon voyage, elles m'ont marqués au point de perturber régulièrement mes émotions. Avec soulagement, nous sommes arrivée à notre hôtel et mes émotions se sont réfugiés derrière la porte de métal et le muret de pierre qui nous entourait.

Honteusement, j'ai réalisé que je n'étais pas tout à fait prête pour faire face à la réalité vécu ici. Comment faire pour comprendre la misère et l'injustice ? Pourquoi l'égalité et les droits humains ne sont-ils pas accessible à tous ?

Notre première journée à l'hôtel s'est passé calmement. Nous nous sommes reposés et nous avons fait connaissance avec les autres familles avec qui nous allons passer la semaine. L'endroit où nous avons choisi de rester ressemble plus à une maison familiale qu'à un hôtel. Au rez-de chaussé, les pièces communes nous permettent de socialiser et de côtoyer avec des gens qui vivent les mêmes aventures que nous au niveau de leur adoption. Grâce à l'Internet nous sommes entré en contact et aujourd'hui nous avons le plaisir de nous rencontrer pour la première fois. Historica, Mitaine, Gwen, Liesl, nous sommes tous là non plus dans un monde virtuel mais désormais dans un monde réel.

Lorsque nous avons pris la décision de choisir l'endroit où nous allions rester lors de notre séjour à Addis, il était très important pour mon mari et moi de prendre en considération la réalité vécue en Éthiopie. Pour nous, il n'était pas pas question de s'envelopper d'un grand confort alors que juste à côté de nous des gens mourraient de faim et vivaient dans la rue. Bien sûr, il nous fallait un minimum de protection et de confort mais notre priorité était d'éviter de vivre dans une bulle. Le Hilton et le Sheraton ont été d'emblé évité comme option d'hébergement. Nous avons alors appris que l'orphelinat qui s'occupe de notre fils possédait un petit hôtel dont les profits étaient directement réinvestis dans les orphelinats gérés par cette organisation. Sans réfléchir trop longtemps, nous avons décidé que nous allions faire une pierre deux coups. Notre choix d'hôtel n'allait pas seulement permettre de nous héberger mais aussi d'aider l'orphelinat où habite présentement notre fils. De type 3 étoiles, cet hôtel nous a permis aussi d'entrer en contact avec la culture éthiopienne. Grâce aux gens qui travaillent à cet endroit nous avons pu sortir un peu de notre bulle et découvrir la culture de notre fils.

La première sortie que nous avons fait fut d'aller visiter un atelier de foulard. Cette coopérative permet à des femmes d'avoir un emploi pendant que leurs enfants ont accès à une éducation de base. L'idée est bonne mais pour de nombreuses heures de travail des foulards qui au Canada se vendrait environ 20$ se vendent $5. Il y a quelqu'un quelque part qui se fait une grande marge de profit et ce ne sont malheureusement pas les gens qui ont travaillé à confectionner ces foulards qui ont la possibilité de récolter la majorité des profits. Cette situation a donc pour effet que les pauvres restent pauvres et les riches continuent de s'enrichirent. Il y a définitivement un travail à faire au niveau de la conscience humaine. L'égalité des droits sociaux est encore à l'époque préhistorique dans cette partie du monde.

Jour 1-2 : 5-6 février 2011

2011-02-16T15:15:00.008-06:00

Depuis ma tendre enfance, j'attend avec impatience le moment d'aller un jour en Afrique. Depuis que je suis toute petite, j'ai grandi avec l'idée qu'un jour j'irai visiter ce continent. Régulièrement, les amis de mes parents venaient à la maison nous parler de leurs expériences en Afrique et pour moi il était tout à fait naturel de penser qu'un jour j'irai aussi mettre les pieds sur la terre africaine.

Le matin du 5 février fut un moment très spécial. Non seulement ce voyage allait me permettre de rencontrer enfin mon fils mais j'étais aussi sur le point de réaliser un rêve d'enfance. Fébrilement, j'ai vérifier si tout ce que nous avions besoin étaient dans nos valises et rapidement nous sommes partis pour l'aéroport. Plus de 36 heures de voyages (avec les temps d'attente dans les aéroports) nous attendait et pour la première fois depuis des mois je me sentais légère... L'Afrique m'attendait.

Nous avons quitter le Canada sur les ailes de Air Canada. Pendant le trajet jusqu'à Londres j'étais tellement énervé que j'en étais incapable de dormir. Ce qui devais arriver arriva, je me suis endormi sur la banquette d'un restaurant devant mon déjeuner. En sursaut, je me suis réveillé pour constater que dormir dans un restaurant n'était pas l'endroit le plus confortable. Mon idée de départ était de louer une chambre d'hôtel et de dormir pendant notre transit de 12h. L'idée était bonne mais j'étais trop fatiguée pour chercher où était ce fameux hôtel. Rapidement, j'ai pris mon sac et je me suis couchée sur un banc. Je devais être extrêmement fatiguée car j'ai dormi comme une roche. Du vrai camping dans un aéroport.

À l'heure convenue, nous nous sommes dirigés vers notre porte d'embarquement et là mon coeur s'est mis à battre plus vite. Ce n'était plus un rêve, je partais réellement pour l'Afrique. Notre vol avec Ethiopian Airlines fut très agréable. Cette fois, j'ai pris le temps de dormir car je ne voulais surtout pas passer ma première journée en Ethiopie les yeux pleins de fatigue.

À l'aube, j'ai nerveusement commencé à regarder par le hublot afin de voir une parcelle du sol africain. Je n'oublierai jamais les premières images d'un sol désertique à perte de vue, quelques arbres par endroits, quelques petits villages, puis le début d'une ville immense, Addis Ababa. Ça y est, depuis le temps que j'attendais ce moment, j'y étais enfin. L'excitation à fait place à la nervosité lorsque je suis entrée dans l'aéroport. Où aller ? Est-ce que nos bagages que nous avions vus pour la dernière fois au Canada serai là ? Nous avons fait la file pour obtenir notre visa d'entrée. À trois reprises, nous avons remplis des papiers d'identification qui se ressemblait pas mal les uns aux autres. En quelques minutes nous avons eu l'étampe désirée à l'intérieur de notre passeport et nous avons passer les douanes éthiopiennes. Pour notre plus grand bonheur, nous avons vu arriver nos deux valises rouges et les deux valises destinées aux orphelinats que nous allions visiter. C'est alors que je me suis dit, pourquoi m'inquiéter alors que tout s'est bien passé ? Erreur, il ne fallait pas baiser ma vigilance trop rapidement.

Un porteur nous a approché lors de notre arrivé au dernier point de sécurité. On comprenait pas trop ce qu'il essayait de nous dire et rapidement il a pris nos bagages pour nous aider à les mettre dans le scanner. J'étais épuisée alors je me suis dit s'il veut nous aider tant mieux profite-on en ! Erreur !!! Mon premier contact avec la culture éthiopien fut plutôt brutale. Après nous avoir aidé quelques minutes à essayer de trouver la personne qui devait venir nous rencontrer il nous a demander de le payer. Quoi ??? Quelqu'un nous a expliqué qu'il nous avait aidé (aider c'était un grand mot) et que maintenant on devait le payer. Je n'avais rien contre l'idée de lui donner un peu de monnaie mais le problème c'est que je n'avais pas encore échangé mon argent américaine. La plus petite monnaie que j'avais était 20 $. Il était vraiment insistant et je voulais me débarrasser de lui au plus vite alors je décidé de lui donner 20$ en me disant qu'en même temps j'allais faire un don pour l'aider. Incroyable mais vrai Monsieur a demandé plus d'argent. Quoi ???? Je viens de te donner 20 $ pour 5 minutes d'aide, il me semble que c'est assez. Dans un anglais vraiment difficile à comprendre il s'est mis à baragouiner qu'il devait payer aussi payer son patron. Quoi ??? Un vrai cauchemar !!! Fin de l'histoire, j'ai donné encore plus d'argent à cet homme qui ne nous avait pas vraiment aidé. Il s'était plutôt imposé à nous. En d'autres mots, je me suis faite avoir dès les premières cinq minutes de mon arrivée en Afrique. Je savais que ça n'avait pas de bon sens moi qui est si strict sur la gestion du budget. Mais avec la fatigue des deux derniers jours de voyages, je venais d'agir de façon tellement irrationnelle. J'avais tellement honte et je me confondais en excuses auprès de mon mari. Finalement, nous avons rencontré l'homme qui devait nous conduire à notre hôtel. Épuisée, je suis mise à pleurer et il m'a expliqué comment réagir si une situation similaire se reproduisait une prochaine fois. Il m'a aussi rassuré en me disant que cet homme ne représentait pas la culture éthiopienne et que le mieux était d'oublier tout ça. Quelle honte !

Nous sommes partis pour notre hôtel et dès notre sorti de l'aéroport j'ai été frappé par l'immensité de la pauvreté qui régnait dans les rues. De nombreuses personnes étaient assis ou marchaient sur le bord de la rue avec de nombreux animaux (brebis, ânes). Le trafic était chaotique, aucune signalisation. Je savais que ce pays était pauvre mais le savoir et le voir sont deux choses totalement différentes. Après quelques minutes, j'ai tourné le regard car la scène était insupportable à regarder.

Thinking back about Ethiopia...

2011-02-15T03:51:00.003-06:00

4:00 am : I should be in my bed by now. I am working tomorrow and I need to have all my rest to handle with patience and kindness the challenge of teaching. However, I think I am still on Ethiopia time. After few hours of sleep, my body woke up and did not want go sleep again. I then decided to get up and update my blog about our recent trip to Ethiopia.

First of all, I do not want add more to the recent worries about the implement of a new rule. The purpose of this blog is to share my joy and my sadness I go trough in my adoption journey and not to add more stress in families life. Obviously, I write on my own perspective and my words should not be taken as an official information from the recents changes about court process in Ethiopia. For more official informations, I strongly suggest that you contact your agency for further informations about that.

In a overall perspective, I found our recent trip to Ethiopia very challenging. I like travelling. Every spring I have a travel fever and I am all the time excited to have the opportunity to travel outside the country. My husband and I were really looking for this trip coming up to Ethiopia. Our desire was to go in Africa since many years. For different reasons, we postponed many time our african trip and then when we learn that a trip to Ethiopia will be part to our adoption journey we were very happy and excited. Since two years, we have prepared ourselves to this trip. We read about Ethiopia, we talked about that, we meet with our african friends or people who had the chance to visit this continent. However, all the preparation does not seem to be enough to prepare us to the difficult social reality present in Africa. Poverty is something can be easy to understand when we are far away. It very different to deal with when you see it on an everyday basis.

I will keep a lot a positive memories about my son birth country. I will tell him how people are courageous and hard worker. I had the opportunity to visit two orphanages (KVI Addis and Faya orphanage in Adama) during my stay and I was very impress to see how every little thing can go so far over there. I learn that I have nothing to complaint about in Canada. My big challenges are nothing if I compare them to their everyday life. However, I was also confront to deal with a lot of emotional situations where sometimes their is nothing we can do about except crying.

The next posts about my trip in the next few days are not intent to add more worries in your adoption journey but only to give you another perspective about life reality in Ethiopia.

We are back from Ethiopia

2011-02-14T22:00:00.003-06:00

We are back from Ethiopia. I will be happy to share later about our trip. After more then 20h of flight I need to go the bed because I am working tomorrow morning.

Busyness and reality...

2011-01-31T21:57:00.004-06:00

I just realize that I am writing on my blog two times a months (every two weeks). Pretty bad average for a girl who like to read someone else blog on a daily basis. To be honest too much happen for us right now and I am doing my best to keep control of everything. I all the time enjoy keeping myself busy as for me it the best way for stay positive and stay far from depressing stuff. In another way, I try to forget the reality with my busyness. There is nothing wrong to be busy but right now my upcoming trip to Ethiopia bring up a lot of emotions that I cannot avoid anymore with my busyness.

I look for this trip since many years. Now it hard to believe that in few days I will be in another continent and experiencing for the first time the ethiopian culture. I read some much about this country and now it real. This trip will be really special as I will have the opportunity to see my son for the first time. To be honest I was not happy when our agency told us about the new requirement of two trips instead of one. One trip was something important for me as I did not feel comfortable to see my child and then be away few months before I can bring him at home. We choose Ethiopia for one of this reason. We were able to met the ethiopian requirement about age, years of marriage, time to stay in the country.... and only one trip. Now, I do not have the choice to deal with a unwanted situation. Let me clarify, I am super excited to have the opportunity to meet my son but I find awful the idea to see him and come back home for 3 to 6 months. This reality is difficult not only for us but also for my son who need to stay in a institution longer then necessary. I fought again this second trip a lot and now time as come to go. I need to be mature and face what I need to do to become legally the mom of my son, appear to court in Ethiopia.

This trip will be wonderful I am sure but I will also need all your prayers to help me to stay strong and confident that everything will be ok until my son finally can come home.

Busy, busy, busy....

2011-01-18T21:28:00.003-06:00

I love to read adoption blog stories and the ones I prefer are when the author is writing regularly. Unfortunately, I am not doing what I expect from other blogs. The last two weeks has been really busy and the next three will probably be. There is different things happen in our life right now. All good things but a lot of things. After the nightmare of updating our paperwork during Christmas time we can now enjoy planning our trip. We are now leaving in 17 days... Wow ! I know it will not be a easy trip but I am really looking for this one because I will have the opportunity to see for the first time my little boy.

There is also few projects coming up. I am know to be a busy girl but believe me now I am more then busy... with work, special fundraising project for Ethiopia with my school and looking for a new house (yes you read correctly) is busyness x 100. My big fear was to be not enough busy in between my two trip... I think it will be not the case. In a certain way I am happy because time fly faster. In a other way, I only have 24h in a day and my body cannot do much of what I am doing right now.

Court date for us !!!

2011-01-05T15:08:00.002-06:00

Yes ! We are going to be in Ethiopia very soon. I received the confirmation today that our court date will be on February 11.... so in one month I am going to see my little boy. It will be a hard trip to see him and come back in Canada after but in the same time this trip is going to bring me closer to my son.

To have a successful court date we need to have three things.

- Birth family appearance in court (on the same day but at a different time of us)
- Adoptive family appearance in court (us)
- MOWA letter (government letter to give us permission to adopt our son)

If one of these three things is missing we will need to have another court date few weeks later and it will occur more delay in our adoption process. There is only one thing we can control, our presence in Ethiopia. For the two other things we can only pray that everything will be ready for us.

I am so excited !!!!!

Youth's charity work funds Ethiopian wells

2011-01-03T11:18:00.002-06:00

Youth's charity work funds Ethiopian wells

Ten-year-old Connor Kindred was looking forward to his adopted brother's arrival from Ethiopia but was surprised to learn he doesn't have all the things Canadian children have.

Connor sent his broken Xbox away for repairs but it was taking a long time so his parents bought a new one.

Connor wanted to give one to his new brother, Daniel, but his parents told him that they don't have electricity or clean water everywhere in Ethiopia so an Xbox was not practical.

"I'm like, 'That's weird. I should help them out,' " said Connor, who lives in Emerald Park.

Connor decided to raise money for the country's residents through a charity called WaterCan to give Ethiopian children what they really need -- clean water and proper sanitation.

Connor raised about $13,000 from friends, family and others. In addition, he saved about $440 on his own by asking for donations instead of presents for his birthday and Christmas.

"I have a lot of toys that I don't even play with. It feels quite good to get money from other people to help people around the world with troubles," said Connor.

Connor is sponsoring WaterCan's Hamle 19 Primary School Project and Dera Boku Primary School Project to provide the schools with clean water, basic sanitation and hygiene education.

Connor noticed that in every picture of Daniel, from Awash near Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, he was wearing pink shoes.

"It makes me laugh in a kind of funny way. Then like, here we are sitting with fancy contraptions while they're over there without TVs and everything," Connor said.

Connor's parents, Tom and Patti, are going to Ethiopia in January and will bring items like toothbrushes to the school. Connor will join his parents on their second trip to bring Daniel home, hopefully in May.

He recently gave a presentation to financial planner Rod Tyler's clients of Tyler and Associates at the Kramer Imax Theatre. Tyler, the family's financial planner, described the Kindreds as very generous people.

"Standing in front of all of those 175 people, a 10 year-old boy talked about why he wanted to raise money to develop water wells and safe drinking water in Ethiopia," explained Tyler.

The audience was extremely moved by how adult and focused Connor was, he added. Tyler's company matched the money raised that night.

"It's quite extraordinary for a young man to be able to do something like that -- he must have good parents," said Tyler.

To donate to Connor's project, visit Connor's Well Wish online (http://bit.ly/d2nxld).

© Copyright (c) The Regina Leader-Post

Happy New Year !

2011-01-02T21:22:00.004-06:00

2011 started with excitement and anticipation for our family. This year will be (we hope) the year were our family will welcome our son. We can never be sure (because adoption world have show many time that things can change) but 2011 bring a lot of expectations for our family. As much as I want a be with my son as much as I feel sometime overwhelm with everything we have to do before we have the chance to be with him. We have more then half of the way done but the next fews months will also be the most challenging. Now that I have a face and I can picture who he is, now that I know he is waiting for his parents, I would like to wake up and having him beside me. However, I know that until then I need to find the way to be strong and patient.

I used to take resolutions every year. This year I decided to change a little bit and raise up my 2011 prayers.

For 2011...

... I pray that my son health will be good from now and also when he will be with us.

... I pray that our court date will be successful (in a short time) and I find the way to be strong between the time we will wait for his visa. I pray that I will not be worries and I will be able to be functional in my usual duties (very important)

... I pray that we will be able to made the best decisions for our family when the time come.

... I pray that adoption process will go smoothly for our adoption community and families will receive referrals and visa quickly.

This is my prayers for 2011. Wishing you a wonderful new year. May 2011 be a peaceful year in your life.

Joyeux Noël, Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T10:23:00.004-06:00

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas time with your family and friend. As we remember Jesus birth I want be thankful for the miracle of my son in our live. May 2011 bring our little boy in our life forever.

Joyeux Noël à tous. Je vous souhaite de passer un temps des fêtes merveilleux en compagnie de votre famille et de vos amis. En ce temps de l'année où nous soulignons la naissance de Jésus je désire exprimer ma reconnaissance pour le miracle de la vie accordé par l'arrivée prochaine de notre fils. Que 2011 soit l'année où notre famille sera réunit pour toujours.

Holidays !!!!!

2010-12-22T16:11:00.004-06:00

I love my job but it with joy that I close this afternoon my classroom door for the next two weeks. Let enjoy now Christmas season and family time.

We still do not have our court date but I decided to not be worry about that. We are still in the process to update all our documents and some will be available only after Christmas. To have a successful court we need to have our documents updated minimum 4 weeks before our court date so even if we need to wait a little bit longer before we can hold our little boy in our arms I prefer to make sure all our paperwork is done well to avoid more delay in the future. Let have faith that everything will come in God time.

Happy holidays everyone !

It the most wonderful time of the year....

2010-12-21T06:18:00.002-06:00

We are now in the process to update all our documents and to forget to pain associate with all the paperwork chase this is how I decided to call this period of the year. During a long time I thought we will be able to avoid this situation but since our court date will probably be close with the expired date of most of our documents we decided to start already and do our best to avoid more delay.

On a positive side, we receive Part 1 (Citizenship) yesterday. Yé ! Since we already have our referral this paper was an important piece of the puzzle. We are waiting now to know our court date so we can start planning our court trip.

We are also debating about the idea to change the name of our little boy. Since many years, I have already choose a name I really like for a boy. However, since our son will be over 4 years old we are now hesitating to change his name. Any idea about that ? I would like to hear what do you think about that ?

Keeping myself busy...

2010-12-17T19:57:00.002-06:00

This is what I need to do now. Already three weeks now since we have accepted our referral. I was hoping we will have some new about our court date by now but nothing... I keep telling myself that everything will be fine and we will go in Ethiopia when is the right time for us. We know for sure that out court date will be after mid-February.... but March is a better prediction. I am ready to go anytime but in another way this is not a bad new for us because it will give us some time to plan ahead with our employers.

I do not want a be a complainer but I need to said that parental leave when you are adopting is not very generous. As far as I know my son has the same right to be with his mom then all other bio kids. However, on government eyes or our employers eyes this is not the same. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful employer but reality is not only I will not have the same amount of benefits but I will also have a shorter time with my son. 3 days instead of 15 weeks of maternity (at 85 % of my salary) this is what I will have when I will take custody of my son. If you don't really know much about adoption world 3 days make sense as I will not be physically affected by the arrival of my son. However, when you become a mom with adoption is also a necessity to spend a lot of time with your child to create a strong bonding and avoid future attachment issues. The interesting thing I just found out recently is maternity leave does not seem to be intend for giving to the mom and her child time to bond together but essentially to give time to recovery from the physical change happen with her pregnancy. Therefore, in my situation, if we think with this perspective I am not allow to have the same time at home with my child because I was not pregnant. No matter what is the specific needs of my child, the idea is all the time the same "You are not pregnant, we do not have any limitation to be back at work". I think it time we reverse the situation and think about the need of the child first instead of the need of the worker. Our society need to understand that when we put priority in the next generation we are building tomorrow society. I am not asking for a longer time at home with my child but only to have the same time then other children will have with their parents.

In our situation, there is no option to put our child in a daycare during his first year at home. I have nothing again daycare but in the specific situation of our son this is not an option in order to avoid attachment issues in the future. Our son have the right to be with his parents and we need to make the decision to fill his needs no matter if adoption benefits is generous or not. I hope in the future, adoptive parents will find more open ears about the specifics question of adoption leave benefits.

Congratulations !!!

2010-12-15T21:56:00.005-06:00

Congratulations to one of my reader Laura for your court date. Wishing you a wonderful trip and precious memories when you will meet with your son. For me and my friend Ruth, I wish we will know very soon when we will do our court trip.

When a teacher become a mom for the first time...

2010-12-04T15:22:00.004-06:00

Already a week since we have accepted our referral. Opposite to last week, this one was very joyful but also very busy with report card time. This weekend, I am exhausted probably because all the emotions we been through since two weeks. We try to forget all negatives feelings happen during our referral time and focus only on positives stories. Everyday, when I open my eyes, I think at my little one wondering what he is doing, what he is thinking, hoping that he is happy and feeling good. I know that he is not legally my son but in my heart he is already mine.

I did my first shopping for my son. At first it was overwhelming. Too much choice, too much colours, too much toys... Instead of be happy I was scare. I was looking the child clothing and I realize that I did not know what my child need to have in his closet. Pretty soon I was standing in the middle of the store with tears in my eyes not sure about what I should do. Then I decided to only buy a educative game (to help our son to learn english) and I left. On the way back home, I was thinking how curious was this situation... the first thing I bought for my son was something related to his education. I smile to myself as I realize that I will not only be his teacher but also his mom so now I need to learn to think as mom and not only as teacher.

Fortunately, my mom was in town this weekend and she guides me this morning through the children aisles. At first, I was hesitating but pretty soon I knew what I like and what I don't like for my son. I really enjoy this time with my mom as we were not only shopping for our little boy but also talking about him. I also decided to not buy too much before court to avoid future disappointments. Instead, I decided to buy some clothes for children in our son orphanage. For little price we found some wonderful clothes between 3 months and 6 years old. After all, I enjoy putting all these small pieces in my washer and fold them in my suitcase.

I am so happy !

2010-11-30T23:03:00.002-06:00

I knew my life will change when I will have my child. However, I did not know I will feel so great. It like everything in the world is now looking good. I am so excited to start decorating his bedroom and his playroom. Now, it for reel I can start shopping for him. My mom and I also started talking about having a baby shower in the spring (between our two trips) with the idea to have a fundraising night about Ethiopia. It will be so great if we can share to joy to become parent of our son and also be able to help other children in Ethiopia.

We are very busy with paperwork, specially with Immigration as we still not received our part 1. My husband call this morning to expedited our process. All letters will be in the mail tomorrow morning and we believe we will receive this precious letter very soon.

REFERRAL !!!!

2010-11-28T20:08:00.005-06:00

Yes ! Time has come for us to become the parents of one of the most beautiful little boy. We are so happy to inform you that we just accept the referral of a 4 years old boy. We are very happy but in the same time very sad to read about his life and all the grieving he will need to do in his life before he join our family forever.

We are over the moon. We look at his picture and we are amazed to have the honour to become one day his parents. However, our referral story was not a fairy tale. For different raisons and also in order to respect our son's life privacy we do not want to say too much detail about that but I think it important to say that the last ten days has been really difficult for our family. After the joy to received our son referral we have learn some details about his health and after we got a wrong medical advice from our family doctor. We were devastated with the idea that we might need to declined our precious referral. During this difficult time we got a lot of support from our friends and family. I would like to thanks Ruth and Jennifer, two precious friends who are also in the process to adopt a child from Ethiopia. These two friends were there to support me all week. Their presence help me to look all the possibilities available for us.

Even all these negative answers we did received, I was not ready to sign our referral decline and I decided to take my time to process all the informations. Last Wednesday, we decided to ask for a second medical advice from a international adoption doctor (adoption clinic in Edmonton). This move was the best we can ever do. Unfortunately, she was not available to meet with us in a short time due to all the referrals she have received from Ethiopia. She was only able to meet with us Saturday night. We decided to wait until Saturday in order to have a other view about the medical report of our child.

Saturday, was a long day. I was so nervous and tired. The last week has been very exhausting with all the emotions and our sadness. I find it was hard to go to my work and put a mask in my face. So yesterday was the big day to help us to made our final decision. All day, I clean up, cook, put my Christmas decoration.... I try to change my mind and my hope was to believe to a miracle until the end. Then around 21:00h our phone ring and it was our doctor ready to talk with us about our child health situation. She was wonderful. During 1:30h... yes all this time she took the time to explain the social context in ethiopian adoption and share with me her knowledge and then she look at the lab result and all physical aspect of our child report. She gave me the time to ask all my questions and then she gave me her final advice. Our child has some medical condition who need to be look after when he will be in Canada but the good new is he can have a medical treatment and majority of the ethiopian child she saw with this condition had a recovery in the next year of their arrival. I was so happy to hear this wonderful new because it was the opposite of what I have hear from our family doctor.

After her phone call, my husband and I had a long discussion and we decided to go the sleep and made our decision Sunday after church. I did not had a good sleep as I was turning around all night wondering if ?.... and what will happen if ?... why ? Church this morning was awesome. Our lunch time was long and in silent. I was almost done when my husband ask me...

- So went will we go pick up our son ?

- What ? I was so surprise... excited... one of the most awesome moment in my life.

We had a honest discussion and explain how we felt about this child. For both of us he is our and we decided to accepted our child referral.

Since this afternoon, I am over the moon. I am so happy to have the privilege to become one day the mom of this beautiful little boy. Our journey to him was hard but the only thing I want to remember is the day we meet him, he become our son in our heart. Our families are really excited to welcome Samuel in our family.

La version française de cette merveilleuse histoire sera publiée sous peu.....

Congratulations !!!

2010-11-26T07:08:00.003-06:00

Despite the hard time we are going through, my heart rejoice right now for two of my friends and blog readers who has accepted their referral. Ruth will be the mom on a little boy and a little girl and Laura will be also the mom of a 3.5 years old boy. Congratulations to both of you. We are happy to see two positive stories in our adoption world. Wishing you a smoothly and fast court and a visa process.

I would love to write....

2010-11-24T22:26:00.002-06:00

.... but I can't right now. Something happen last week and our life is in limbo since that time. That moment was suppose to be one of our best moment of our life but it was not... I am waiting for some answer and I hope that I will be able to be back soon on my blog.

Referrals will come...

2010-11-16T19:35:00.002-06:00

This is a magical sentence when you are in the process to adopt a child. This little word "will" make all the difference. It bring hope and trust in a positive future for our family. Every little news is a wonderful feeling when you are waiting to know who will become your children. Hang on all my friends, our referrals will come...

Lest We Forget

2010-11-12T00:41:00.008-06:00

Remembrance Day was yesterday. However, I do believe that this day should not be commemorate one time a year but also in our everyday life. Because Remembrance Day is directly related to the war, this subject may become really sensitive for some people. Can we stand again war and violence and also commemorate our soldiers life ? Yes, I do believe that Remembrance Day is not about being for or again war but first of all about humanity, life, sacrifice and family lost. When I think about Remembrance Day I do not think if is right or bad to be involve in a controversy political situation overseas but I do remember wives, children, mothers, dads and friends who lost someone important in their life.

For you families and friends... Lest We Forget !

Nothing really to say...

2010-10-28T21:22:00.002-06:00

I did not post since Thanksgiving. On one side, I feel awful for my readers but in an other hand I do not feel I have something positive to say. Work is doing good, meeting with family and friends is all the time wonderful. I should be happy, however something is missing and I get more and more impatient about that. Today, for the first time, I try to imagine my life without having a child... I do not like to be negative but reality is that even if I am not old, I am not young either... I would like to believe in our adoption process but I get tired to face all news obstacles in our way. It seem that every month we need to deal with a little "surprise"... I feel like I am pregnant since two years and I am tired to be... Something need to happen soon.

Happy Thanksgiving !

2010-10-11T11:09:00.004-06:00

In this time of the year it time to celebrate all wonderful and positives things happen to us in our life. We are healthy and we are bless to have our family around us. Let think about all these positives things and forget about everything who make us worry.

Happy Thanksgiving with your families.

Mystère et boule de gomme...

2010-10-07T18:21:00.004-06:00

J'étais pas mal positive ces derniers temps car je me disais que puisque nous avions changé l'âge de notre requête (0-3,5 ans), nous devrions probablement recevoir une proposition très bientôt... mais là il va falloir vraiment que je me trouve un nouveau projet parce que plus le temps passe et rien ne semble bouger pour nous. Le mois dernier, notre agence a fait 1 proposition d'enfant.... on est # 158... on s'entend que à cette vitesse là je vais être maman quand je vais avoir 40 ans....

Les parents qui ont reçu leur proposition d'enfant cet été ont reçu aujourd'hui leur date pour comparaître à la cour (1er voyage en Éthiopie)... leurs dates est en décembre donc environ 3-4 mois après la proposition de leur enfant. Par la suite, on doit attendre un autre 6-8 mois pour recevoir le visa de Immigration Canada (pour ramener nos enfants au Canada) donc de façon réaliste on peut dire que nos enfants ne vont pas arriver avant la fin de 2011 et même en 2012... Désormais, je dois envisager cette réalité et je trouve ça tellement loin comme date.

Sans compter le fait que nous avons reçu cette semaine une lettre de Immigration Canada qui nous informe que ça prendra environ 27 semaines pour vérifier si nous sommes Canadiens... euh c'est parce qu'on a déjà un passeport canadien... pourquoi ça prend autant de temps alors ? Mystère et boule de gomme....

I was very positive since few weeks. I was busy with school and I had the feeling that our referral will come soon... Why ? I don't know just a very strong feeling. However, since we already started October I really need to find another project to work on because now I have the feeling that nothing move and this is not good for help me to stay positive. Last month our agency did 1 referral. I was hoping a little bit more...

Families who receive their referral last summer got their court date today. I was very happy for them. However, I realize that if their court date is in December our children will not be with us before the end of 2011 or even 2012... It sound so far... but it seem to be the reality I need to face on.

Not only that but CIC inform us this week that it will take around 27 weeks to investigate if we are Canadians.... Well, it because we both have a Canadian passport.... Why it take so long to confirm our part 1 ? In French, we have a expression "Mystère et boule de gomme..." mean big mystery.

Dr. Samantha Nutt and a noble cause

2010-10-05T19:21:00.005-06:00

Today, we had the privilege to have a special guest speaker in our school, Dr. Samantha Nutt. I did not really know about her and I was really happy to have the opportunity to know more about her work with war children. Meet her in person was wonderful. She is kind and simple. Someone special who make a difference in our world. To know more about her, you can watch the clip. Her story is around 1:29 min.

Dr. Samantha Nutt et la cause des enfants soldats

2010-10-05T19:21:00.004-06:00

J'ai eu le privilège de rencontrer le Dr. Samantha Nutt aujourd'hui. Wow ! Ce fut une belle expérience de l'entendre nous raconter, sans flafla, ni tambour la dure réalité reliée à la guerre dans les pays du Tiers-monde. Cette présentation fut aussi une excellente opportunité de faire une réflexion sur la part que devrait faire les pays industrialisés dans les conflits mondiaux. Jusqu'à quel point la sécurité nationale doit-elle avoir préséance sur le respect des droits humain ? Tel fut la question soulevée par le Dr. Nutt aujourd'hui.

Do you speak French ?

2010-09-23T21:28:00.002-06:00

If you understand French language, you probably wonder why I do not write in French. Well, I need to admit that living most of my day in a English world I forget sometimes about my first language. Yes, school is in French but teaching in French and living in French is two realities really different for me because now my emotional referents are in my second language. Because I learn my second language during my adult life and I still do not master completely my English language I never feel I should be scare about loosing my first language skills. However, now I realize that if I don't make a effort I need to face the reality that yes my French skills might be affected. This is make me wonder how it will be for our children ? They will come with their own language and culture and with us they will learn two news languages and cultures.... What will be their identity ? If my own culture and language are so important for me this must be the same thing for my children when they will be with us.

Under his wings...

2010-09-14T22:03:00.003-06:00

Recently I was wondering why life seems so unfair and contradictory. However, there is some days were life is also a miracle and today was one of those days. Sometimes in life, even if you are very organize and you did plan everything bad luck happen and today I had a big one. My students and I are planned to go in a cultural French trip this friday. Today I learn that our bus was cancel because they did not have enough driver.... 3 days before our trip !!! Are you kidding me ? What I am suppose to do now. Well, I had two options. The first one was to cancel our trip, which will be very sad for my students. The second was to find another bus. I was not very optimistic but I after few research I did found one available. However, the price was higher and I knew we can't afford this payment. I felt I was falling through a huge mountain and nothing was there to stop me when other teachers and my administration start to help me to find a solution. See all this people help me to find a solution was a wonderful feeling and together we did find one. What a wonderful feeling to have everybody around for help me and feel someone was protecting me.... I was under his wings. I will never forget this experience. So, some days can be nice....

Why ?

2010-09-12T22:27:00.002-06:00

There is some situations in life where we find no answer and make me have the same question... Why ? Why my happiness need to come from someone else pain ? Why good people pass away and mean people are still alive ? Why we live in a contradictory world ? There is some questions I have and I still did not find a answer. Being part of the adoption world does not help to answer those questions.

Let me say, I am not depress. I am a positive woman who truly believe in human being. However, I need to admit that I do not understand the world I live in.

I am still alive...

2010-09-08T17:03:00.005-06:00

Can you tell that something just change in my life ? Yes, it time to be back at school. Right now you probably wonder.... student or teacher ? Both.... Yes school restarted last week and life is very more busy for me right now. Every minutes seem to be so important during the day but busyness help me to forget about adoption process so I am very happy to be back in school.

I did receive my CanTest (English test) result yesterday and I am very happy to inform you that I made it....

Listening Comprehension : 5.0 (Very Good User)
Reading Comprehension : 4.5 (between very good and competent)
Written Expression : 4.0 (Competent User)

Now I just need to do the speaking test but it should be ok because I have the opportunity to practice my oral skills everyday.

"Procrastination" Tales Of Mere Existence

2010-09-01T20:35:00.002-06:00

Too funny !!! Did you ever be like him ? I do sometime but my new resolution this year (yes new year for me always start in september with school) is do not procrastinate too much.

Congratulations ! Tribut to my friend

2010-08-24T10:16:00.005-06:00

This morning I had a wonderful new waiting more me in my mailbox. My dear friend Ruth got her referral. Congratulation my friend I am so happy for you. Ruth is a special friend I met through a online discussion board. When the bankruptcy happen last year, a lot of family affected by this tragedy gather on this web site to have news and discuss about this horrible nightmare. Right a way, I notice Ruth's messages with her positivity and her hope. Instead of be depress, Ruth was proactive and confident. She refused to be negative and was part of the group who work so hard to reopen our agency. During this nightmare, Ruth's attitude was a example for me to stay strong and confident in God plan. Few months ago, we were inform about the lack of referral for sibling. I was really sad about that not only for me but for my friend Ruth who was expecting since many years to have a sibling referral. However, despite the deception, she never being negative about this situation and change her request for a single child with courage and positivity. Today, I am amaze to see how God plans are wonderful for our life. My friend got her referral and more wonderful she is now mom of three children. Yes she got a sibling referral !!!!

Ruth's attitude give me the hope that one day I will have the referral who fit perfectly to our family.

Congratulations my friend, I am so happy for you.

Joy and happiness !!!

2010-08-20T21:24:00.004-06:00

Today our adoption group are celebrating the referral of two sibling group. After a six months wait we can now see a movement in the sibling list. What a relieve.... I am so happy for these families tonight.

Now, I am praying that my friend Ruth will receive her phone call very soon....

Craving for Ethiopian food

2010-08-17T16:08:00.005-06:00

Since fews days I am craving for Ethiopian food... so guest what I will eat tonight ?

Signed !!!

2010-08-13T14:38:00.004-06:00

We signed this morning our addendum to allow us to adopt a older child. We are so happy to did this change in our request. When we start this process two years ago we did not know much about adoption world. We made some decisions with the knowledge we had at this time. I do not have a child for now so at that time, everything in my life was about babies. Normal reaction because when you create a family you usually start with a baby. However, international adoption had some surprises for me. One day, I connect online with other future adoptive parents who like me are waiting to be match with their child. This wonderful connection gave me the opportunity to know more about adoption challenges and realities. One thing touch my heart, older child situation. However, before making a change in our request it was important for me to forget the baby idea and picture my life with a older child almost ready to start school. What a big difference with my first idea to adopt a child but now I feel in my heart that is the right thing to do. After all the adventures we being through in the last two years and the ones we still don't know about (because international adoption is so unpredictable) I just want to be a parent and open my house for a child who need to be love and cherish.

"Like Dandelion Dust" Trailer movie - in theatre September 2010

2010-08-08T18:28:00.002-06:00

What do you think about this one ? Movie based on Karen Kingsbury novel. I will read the book but I don't know if I will be able to see the movie....

The Story
Joey lives an idyllic life with his parents on the coast of Florida. His days are spent playing with his cousins, sailing with his dad, and making up stories with his mom.

It's a perfect life until the day they receive a disturbing phone call: a stranger's decision could tear Joey away from the comfort and security of the only home he's ever known.

One family is determined to keep the son they love, the other is determined to begin a new life, the life they've always dreamed of. Joey's future rests in their hands and someone must make the bravest decision of their life.

Sometimes the greatest love is letting go.

To Save A Life - Official Teaser Trailer [HD]

2010-08-08T15:21:00.002-06:00

A inspirational movie about real-life challenges of teens and theirs choices.... social divisions, school violence, cutting, suicide, teen pregnancy, divorce. I really enjoy seeing this movie last night.

SYNOPSIS:
Jake Taylor has it all, friends, fame, a basketball scholarship and the hottest girl in school. What could be better? Enter Roger Dawson. Roger has nothing. No friends. No hope. Nothing but put-downs and getting pushed aside. Jake and Roger were best friends when they were kids. But the politics of high school quickly pulled them apart. Now Roger doesn't fit in Jake's — or anyone's circle – and he's had enough. He walks onto campus with a gun in his pocket and pain in his heart and makes a tragic move. Jake's last-ditch effort can't stop Roger, and the sudden tragedy rocks Jake's world. Something breaks loose inside and sends him questioning everything. Most of all, he can't shake the question; could I have saved Roger? In a quest for answers, Jake finds himself looking for the next Roger and reaching out to the outcasts and lonely. But he quickly finds that crossing class castes threatens all his world is built on. And it could cost him his own friends, his girl, his dreams and even his reputation. Is it worth the price to find the answer to his ultimate question; what do I want my life to be about ?

I need your help !

2010-08-03T09:29:00.003-06:00

In three weeks I will do the CanTest to evaluate my English level. The CanTest is a standardized English proficiency test used to give you some idea of how much additional English language training you may need. This test has three parts : Listening, reading and writing. Listening and reading should not be a challenge. However, writing is my biggest fear. I know my writing is not perfect and I would like you bring to my attention some mistakes I usually do so I can practice until the test. Asking help is never easy because we need to accept first to be humble. However, I know it better I learn now then later.

To pass the test I need to be at level 4.

CanTest band levels in writing.

Level 3 : Limited writer : Sometimes communicates intended meaning. Limited range of vocabulary and structures. Errors interfere with understanding. Development may be disjointed.

Level 4 : Modest writer : Usually communicates intended meaning, with an adequate range of vocabulary and structures. Some errors, but they usually do not interfere with understanding. Topic is somewhat organized but may lack cohesion.

Level 5 : Very Good writer : Clearly and effectively communicates meaning, with a wide range of vocabulary and structures. Presentation is well-organized. Errors are infrequent and minor.

Thanks for your help.

14 months

2010-08-02T15:04:00.005-06:00

We officially hit today our 14 months waiting in our adoption process. What to say about this anniversary ? I need to admit that I have mix feelings about our waiting time. First of all, I understand that I can't speed this process with my own strength and I feel that the only thing I need to do right know is keep myself busy. Busy enough that my head will forget about the timeline. Fortunately, I am a busy girl. I like having two or three projects in a row, working full time and studying at the university in the same time, traveling, volunteer my time with community projects. However, it does not seem enough to being busy because timeline start to be heavy in my life even with all my projects.

Two years ago, when we started our adoption process, my thinking about adoption was very romantic. I knew it will be not easy but not as much as all we being through last year. I am really thankful that our adoption is still in process. Last year we being through a horrible nightmare with the bankruptcy of our agency. At that time, we did not know what will happen for us and we were so devastated by the idea to shut down our dream to become a family. "Feel free to choose a another country and restart you adoption process" said to me a woman form Ontario child ministry last year. One year later, I can't believe she said that and my heart still cry when I think about that. How can we just "restart again" ? Adoption process is not a Monopoly game where we can "try again". People all over Canada were affected by this tragedy and without propers answers we feel a reel comfort to be in contact with another families like us via Internet. An incredible team work started with government lobbying and television, radio, newspapers interviews. All over Canada, families choose to be resilient. Our petition had over 7000 signatures and even without answers we choose to have hope. Fortunately, BDO (Trustee agency in charge of the bankruptcy) open their heart (instead of their administrative rules) and help us to keep alive our agency by offering to work on a restructuring plan. During many months we lived with the hope but also with the stress to see our dream shut down again. Around Christmas we receive the best gift... our agency reopen and restart giving child referral. What a release !!! 2010 started with more child referral then we expected and we were confident that the rest of our wait time will be more smooth.

Our initial timeline before the bankruptcy was 12 months. Now, we don't know what to expect. Rules changes in the country were we adopt in order to ensure more ethical process. We fully support this initiative because we do want do to a ethical adoption. However, being in the middle of this process and never know what to expect is hard. We also need to travel two times. After having our referral we will need to attend to the court to become the legal parent of our child and come back in Canada without our child. Around six months later, when Immigration Canada will issue our child visa we will go back and bring back our child in Canada. So much things happen in the last 14 months and often I feel tired about the entire process.
In a other hand, I am so thankful that our file is in Ethiopia. If is was not the case our timeline will be even bigger. Our file was one of the last who was send before the bankruptcy so we are really happy to be in line.

As you can see, I have a mix feelings. I feel this waiting time heavy to handle and in the same time I do not want complaint because I know the situation can be more worse.

La version française de ce message sera publiée prochainement.....

Alegria by Cirque du Soleil - Official Trailer

2010-08-02T12:11:00.001-06:00

Enjoy and dream....

Alegria

2010-07-31T23:05:00.006-06:00

Expecting the unexpected. Alegria from the Cirque du Soleil was a awesome show. From the beginning until the end Alegria kept my attention in all the little details. All was there, acrobats, clown, dancers, musicians.... Even before I saw the show I knew how excellent Cirque du Soleil productions was and tonight production was wonderful. Acrobatics scenes was terrific but what catch my attention was all the support role play during the artist performance to ensure a optimal performance. The burlesques scene were also awesome and make me smile and laugh. It was wonderful to see the contrast between the perfect acrobatic performance and the imperfect clown choreography and remind me how it important to laugh about ourselves and do not take life too seriously.

Un enchantement total. J'ai eu le bonheur d'assister ce soir au spectacle du Cirque du Soleil Alegria. Tout y était pour nous divertir, acrobates, clown, danseurs, musiciens... Avant même d'avoir vu le spectacle, je savais qu'il serait excellent puisque la musique de ce spectacle accompagne mon imaginaire depuis ma jeunesse. C'est donc dire que j'étais déjà vendu à l'avance. Les scènes de haute-voltige, des contorsionnistes ou des acrobates furent fabuleuses mais ce qui a le plus attiré mon attention était le rôle de support joué par de nombreuses personnes afin d'assurer à l'artiste une performance à son maximum. Tout y était dans les moindres détails et les transitions entre les numéros étaient un spectacle en elles-mêmes. Fidèle à sa mission qui est le divertir son public, le Cirque du Soleil ne fait pas exception dans ses scènes de burlesque qui nous font oublier les petits soucis de la vie et rire aux éclats. Le contraste entre les mouvements parfaits des acrobates et ceux des clown qui laisse à désirer nous rappelle combien il faut savoir rire de soit même et éviter de se prendre trop au sérieux.

Les forces de la nature

2010-07-25T20:08:00.003-06:00

Le silence des derniers jours a été interrompu par les orages violents qui se sont abattu sur notre région. Vent, pluie, tonnerre, éclairs.... tout y était. L'heure du départ avait été fixée à 14h mais devant ce spectacle des forces de la nature nous avons été contraint de revoir nos plans et de profiter de quelques instants supplémentaire en famille. La journée d'hier avait été chaude, agréable, paisible. Quel contraste avec la journée d'aujourd'hui.

Sans avertissement, le fracas du coup de tonnerre nous rappelle combien malgré tous nos efforts de contrôler et de diriger notre vie il ne faut pas se surprendre si nos plans ne fonctionnent pas toujours comme nous l'avions prévu. Cependant, au détour de l'attente se retrouve souvent une situation inespérée, souvent meilleure que celle que nous avions prévue.

Bienvenue !

2010-07-20T16:43:00.002-06:00

Bienvenue à Michelle, ma première lectrice francophone :)

Why learn another language ? (Part 2)

2010-07-18T08:54:00.003-06:00

When I and use to live in my French unilingual world I never realize how can be the world outside what I was use to see. One day, the opportunity came to go outside what I was use to be around. Curious, I jump in this new challenge with no ideas about what to expect. It when I was surrounded by a incomprehensible language then I realize it will take more then a desire to learn another language, it will take a lot of patience.

However, after fews years the little French girl can now express her opinion and be involve in a discussion. Yes is not perfect but at least she try. A lot of adventures are presents since the beginning of this journey but also a lot of positives surprises.

Congratulations !

2010-07-18T08:49:00.003-06:00

Congratulations to Laura and Chad who receive their child referral : a baby boy. They will be one of the first families who will need to travel to appear to the court hearing. We hope for them a smooth visa process and soon to have their baby boy in their arms.

Welcome !

2010-07-18T08:46:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Rana and mslevis who just join this blog.

Salt and Sugar

2010-07-16T13:17:00.008-06:00

Did you ever wonder despite the sweet taste why we put sugar in a lot of recipe ? I never think about that until yesterday night. With the help of a little cook, I decided to do a educative three years old activity... doing a chocolate cookie recipe. Our mission was not only be able to eat our cookies after but also learn math and dexterity skills. We start from scratch, playing with flour, smelling cinnamon and vanilla, eating chocolate and of course cracking eggs (Oh what of fun !!!!). Very proud we put our cookies in the oven and we wait a long 8 minutes.

Ding !!!! Really excited, we open the oven and something was wrong. Our cookies did not have the right texture. They look like.... too healthy. I have nothing wrong again eating healthy food but those cookies was not suppose to look like that (small, compact and not looking good). What happen ??? We taste and a little three years old face show me right away what ingredient was missing.... the sugar.

What happen ? I know this recipe since a long time and I did so often then I can even close my eyes..... I don't know what happen but for sure I forget to put the brown sugar and not only the taste but the texture was different.

This interesting experience make me realize how something little thing can do big difference. Yes, we like sugar for the sweet taste but we forget how the chemical reaction is one of the main raison why we need this specific ingredient.

Welcome !

2010-07-16T12:22:00.005-06:00

It a great feeling to write and put in words your reflexions. It another great feeling to be read. Welcome to Ruth, Tammy, Jessa and Robyn.

Why learn another language ?

2010-07-15T17:23:00.002-06:00

People who remember me five years ago will probably have in their mind the picture of a very quiet girl. Yes I was. However, is not because it was one of my character trait but mainly because I was a French girl in a English world. Yes, I did it. I move away from my French world to another canadian province with the hope to learn the mysterious English language.

English was my worst subject in school. I do not know was but I know for sure that I never enjoy that class and was terrify by the word "oral presentation". These days were the perfect day to be sick in bed. One day someone laugh at me during my oral presentation and that it, I was done with learning anything about English. Fews years later, I understand pretty fast that knowing English in Canada was not only a good option it was a necessity.

Did you know French news and English news are different ? The topic are often the same but the journalist perspective can sometimes be really different.

Rest of the story will follow later......

Dire ou ne pas dire...

2010-07-15T16:56:00.002-06:00

Me voilà désormais confronté à différencier ce qui appartient à l'ordre public (ce qui est écrit sur mon blog) et à ma vie personnelle. De nature assez privée, dès mon entré sur le marché du travail, j'ai rapidement tracé une ligne entre ma vie personnelle et ma vie professionnelle. Le deux pourraient facilement cohabiter ensemble cependant un malaise m'envahit à l'idée de faire ce mélange. Cela dit, je suis très heureuse dans ces deux mondes et voilà que maintenant j'ai la drôle d'impression que j'en ai trois.... Ce troisième est plutôt particulier puisqu'il appartient à une sphère que je ne peux contrôler puisque partager ses idées implique directement de s'ouvrir à l'inconnu, à ceux que l'on ne connaît pas nécessairement et arriver à créer une relation qui, on l'espère, saura satisfaire à la fois le lecteur et son auteur.

J'ai toujours voulu écrire... en fait, depuis plusieurs années (je devrais dire plus qu'une décennie) je clame haut et fort que j'aimerai écrire des histoires et mieux encore qu'elles soient publiées. Les idées fourmillent par dizaines dans ma tête et n'attendent que d'être mise sur papier donc cela devrait être facile ai-je pensé. Erreur !!! Il ne suffit pas d'avoir des idées, encore faut-il savoir leur rendre justice, prendre le temps de les écrire et plus encore savoir assumer ses propos lors de leur publication. Mes fidèles supporteurs (ces amis qui croient en vos talents avant même d'en avoir vu la couleur) attendent donc patiemment la journée où j'accepterai enfin de leurs faire lire quelques lignes.

Pourquoi les avoir fait attendre aussi longtemps ? Vous conviendrez qu'il est difficile de faire lire ses écrits si son auteur les effacent... Oui, je dois avouer qu'il m'arrive régulièrement de peser sur la touche "delete" terrifiée à l'idée qu'une tierce personne puisse porter un jugement sur des idées incomplètes et trop personnelles. Puis les années ont passé, les projets de vie ont changé, mais le désir d'écrire est toujours resté, ancré au plus profond de moi-même. Puis, le fil de la vie nous apprend à dissocier les idées personnelles de celles qui ont le potentiel d'être diffusées. Et un jour, la maturité nous permet de faire le grand saut....

Blog launch / Les premiers pas dans un nouveau monde...

2010-07-15T15:17:00.005-06:00

I decided to open my blog to share about life reflections on different topics (humanitarian work, second language learning and challenges, history, politic) and also a dear subject to my heart : our international adoption process. Living in a french minority setting a decided to open a bilingual blog. About my English writing, I believe I am functional but not fully bilingual. Therefore, I am thankful for your understanding about my imperfect writing skills. I am open to learn but as you know, learning another language do not happen in one night (I wish... lol) However, I do believe that put my pride aside will help me to improve my second language skills.

Welcome in my world !

Et voilà, c'est fait, je suis désormais membre de la bloggosphère. J'ai longtemps hésité à m'y joindre tiraillée entre le désir de protéger ma vie privée et en même temps partager les hauts et les bas que nous apporte l'aventure de la vie. Et puis après tout, dans un monde où coexiste désormais des millions de blogs, qui suis-je pour espérer me démarquer ?

Je ne suis pas ici pour vous raconter les détails ma vie personnelle (d'ailleurs, je déteste cette idée de connaître trop de détails sur la vie des gens). Je ne suis pas non plus ici pour vous bombarder de photos ou de me vanter de mes dernières réalisations... donc la question se pose et elle est très légitime, quel est le but de ce blog ?

Philosophe, j'ai envie de réfléchir sur la vie qui nous entoure et de vous partager mes réflexions sur des sujets qui me passionne : l'aide humanitaire, la réalité vécue dans le contexte d'une langue seconde, l'histoire et la politique. Passionnée, j'ai aussi envie de vous parler d'un merveilleux projet qui habite mon existence, l'adoption internationale.

Bref, ça vous intéresse, bienvenue à bord.

Historica